AITA for telling my son that only $10k for his downpayment?

I 58M, own an endodontist practice and didn't want to show my wealth to my 2 kids. I didn't spoil my kids either but made them go to a good university and monitor their spending habits.<br><br>My son is getting married to his college sweetheart. They met 6 years ago. My wife is very happy for the wedding. I'm not. I think my son is too young for this and should focus on his career first. My son graduated from university and has only 3 years work experience. He said that once he gets married early, he can settle down faster and be more successful in life.<br><br>I told him that with only 3 years of work experience, he's not stable enough to get married. He doesn't make a lot of money too. He earns $65k/year. He said it doesn't matter if he's rich or stable for marriage as long as he has money to fully support his new family. He said he's not going to waste his 20s being single because he doesn't want to be old when he has kids. I can't change my son's mind.<br><br>He wanted us to pay for the wedding. I said no because I don't agree with the marriage and he's too young for this. We had a big fight. My wife took my son's side and said that since he's an adult, his decision is final and to respect it. She also said that since I didn't want to attend the wedding, I don't have to pay for it. <br><br>He got married last month. The wedding was at a restaurant, simple and intimate and my daughter attended. I didn't attend and gave him a red envelope with $5000 cash. The reason why I gave him money is because I wanted him to save it for his future. My son is currently renting an apartment with his new wife and in the process of buying a new house. He asked for more money. My wife said that if I don't want to give him a substantial amount of money, I should not have given him any money at all. We got into another fight again.<br><br>I gave my son another red envelope with $5k. He said that's not enough. From his tone, I can tell he's not happy at all. He said that when my daughter gets married, he will also give us only $5000. He returned home and slammed the door. My wife scolded me for only giving him $10k and that it's my fault that my son thinks that $10k is all what he needs to spend on a wedding. I said that I wanted him to save it for his future but she said that she would rather I didn't give him any money in the first place.<br><br>Edit: I didn't attend the wedding because I didn't want to pretend to be a happy dad when I'm not.<br><br>Edit 2: my wife is on my son's side but she's not asking for a divorce. What she means by "if I didn't want to give him any money at all" is that if I didn't agree with his marriage, I should not have given him any money at all.