My formula to a stress-free life: How I came to terms with the fact that I'm not perfect & doing my best is better than trying to be perfect.

I'm done. In 5 days my last exam will be over and I'll officially be done with med school. It took 10 years to get to this point, and I survived it with minimal mental health issues, a crooked smile and a healthy work-life balance. But it's only in the last year or so that I finally cracked the code of how to lead a stress-free life. So, this is what I thought I'd share with you tonight before I came to terms with the fact that I'll be starting a job in the summer and I want those of you who are still in school to have this opportunity as well.<br><br>I think it starts out with the fact that you have to accept the fact that you're never going to be perfect. I can basically hear you thinking, "What? You're studying to be a doctor, you have to be perfect." It's true, our job comes with a lot of responsibility and it's understandable that we should be perfect in our field. But this mindset is also what usually leads to anxiety and overthinking, so you have to be able to let that go.<br><br>My personal epiphany came when I found an old notebook from secondary school in my desk drawer. It was from a time when I spent lunch sitting in class and studying with the teacher. I was one of those nerds who felt like my life's purpose was school and I was so focused on studying to the point that I sacrificed my social life, didn't hang out with friends, didn't play sports or played with other children, didn't spend time with my family...it was pretty lonely, but I didn't know any better. My parents also didn't think any better of it and they encouraged me to focus on my studies, too. So, I did. I sat in my room all day, studying. And in my free time, I read books about studying where all these teachers and coaches were giving tips on how to study better and more efficiently. And I tried all of it. Just to make you understand how bad my situation was, I read a book that advised me to learn about active recall and spaced repetition in school, when I was 12. I didn't understand a single piece of advice, but it sounded so cool, so I went for it. It didn't really help me by the way. But my grades were really good. They were always good. So, I kept doing it, thinking that eventually I'd be the smartest person in the classroom, just because of the fact that I was spending so much time studying. But it never worked out. It just never did. And it made me so sad. I was so unhappy. <br><br><br>Back to my old notebook. There was a page on which I had scribbled something that I remembered from the book. It was something like, "The perfect student is the student who is doing his best." I wrote it down so that I could remember it. I even made a header with my black marker, and I underlined it three times. I forgot about it, but when I found the notebook back, I saw it again. But this time it stuck with me. The perfect student is the student who is doing his best. That's it. Didn't have to be perfect. Of course there are mistakes, but that's not something that you can change. Everyone makes mistakes. All I have to do is try my best. I can study to get a 100% on a test, but I have no control over what I'm going to be asked. I can do everything right during an operation, but the patient might still die of an allergic reaction to the anesthetics. I can soundproof my room, but I still have to go outside. <br><br><br>Especially in medicine, it's really obvious that you can't be perfect. I think we like to pretend that we are, because it gives us a sense of control. But that's not true. There's so much we can't control. So, when I realized this, I suddenly felt the weight lift of my shoulders. I could finally breathe again. I started to do everything differently after that. Now, I only study until I feel satisfied with what I've done. When I can confidently say, "That's it." For example, I was supposed to learn a particular topic. I would use flashcards, take notes, read about it and suddenly I'd get bored with it. I'd get headaches, my eyes would blur, I'd hate the topic and everything associated with it. So, I'd stop. I'd do something else. In the past, I'd need to know everything about the topic. I'd need to be able to answer every question that could be asked about it. I'd remember every detail, every nuance, every exception. But now, I was okay with learning only as much as I needed to know. That's it. I was proud, too, because of the fact that I had done my best. This mindset was incredibly liberating. <br><br><br>Of course, it doesn't mean that I don't care any more. I still care, I still try my best, but I'm also more relaxed. I don't overthink it as much. I trust myself. I trust that I'll always do everything I can. Most of all, I trust that I'm doing my best. <br><br><br>I don't know if this is still interesting to anyone, but I'm sorry for rambling. I know that this is a sub for studying, so I wanted to go back to the topic. What I'm trying to say is that you don't have to be perfect to get good grades. I don't know, maybe it's because I'm a little older and I've had a lot of experience by now, maybe that's why I can get away with it. But I feel like the fact that I'm so relaxed helps a lot. Maybe it's that I'm not as stressed. It also doesn't mean that I'm doing less. For this exam, I wanted to do 13000 flashcards, but I felt like that was too much. I reduced them to 3000. I managed to do them all, but I didn't stress about it because I thought I was doing 13000. I didn't have to learn everything. I just had to do enough. In the last few weeks, I was often tired, so I didn't study. I spent more time sleeping. I even forgot about my flashcards at one point. I still got a good grade on the test, though. So, I can promise you, it does work. <br><br><br>So, to recap, I think there are a few principles to live by to have a stress-free life. I think it's about being realistic, accepting that you can't be perfect and doing your best. It's about trusting yourself, trusting your own abilities and knowing that you always try your best. And I think it's about living with the fact that you make mistakes, that you can't control everything and that you can't be perfect. <br><br>I know that what I'm saying in this post isn't anything new. There are so many people who talk about this, and there are so many books about it. I've read about it before, and at the time I thought it was nonsense. But I think that at one point you just crack the code, you finally understand what it means, and it might change your entire life, just like it changed mine. I'm incredibly grateful for it. It's such a blessing to lead a life like this. <br><br>Thank you so much for reading this post.