My (28F) husband (30M) skipped the birth of his son because he was in the middle of a game.

I don't even know where to start. This is the most humiliating thing that has happened to me in my entire life. My husband and I have been together for 8 years. We made plans to have kids last year, and when I got pregnant, he was super excited. Everything went amazing and I gave birth to a healthy baby boy 3 months ago. 2 weeks ago, I went into labor. My water broke and I had to call an ambulance. I called my husband, who was at our friends house, to let him know what was happening. He told me he'd be proud to be a dad and would see me at the hospital. He never showed up. I gave birth alone and called him when I was in my room with the baby. he said he can't leave until the match was over. I can't describe the pain I felt. It was like being stabbed over and over again. He texted me saying he was sorry and that he was going to come over. He got to the hospital an hour and a half later and hugged me and the baby and cried. We went home and as a family we went to our friends house for dinner. I thought things were okay. But they weren't. The next day, we went to visit family and let them meet the baby for the first time. When we got home, my husband got mad at me for not making him food. I told him he's an adult and can make his own food. He got really mad and hit me. I called 911 but he took the phone from me and hung up. He dragged me to our room and said I don't appreciate the sacrifice he makes for our family. He started to strangle me but I kicked him in the balls and ran to the kitchen. I told him I wanted a divorce. He said I don't deserve a divorce and that he will always be the best husband. He grabbed a knife and waved it at me. I called 911 and they came to the house. I'm at my parents house now. The police are looking for him and I have an order of protection. But I feel so stupid for not leaving him. When he hit me the first time, I should've made the decision to leave. I should've seen the signs. Even now I feel scared and dont know what to do. I don't know if I should get a divorce. What do you think I should do?<br><br>Edit: I'm overwhelmed with the amount of support and kindness I'm receiving. Thank you to everyone who took the time to read my story. I will do everything in my power to get the justice my son and I deserve. I will not be silenced and will not let him bully me into staying in the marriage. The police have not found him yet but I'm hoping they do soon. Thank you to everyone who has offered financial help. Your generosity is beyond measure. You are all amazing. I just want to say that I'm doing okay. I'm safe with my family and we're trying to move forward. I'm trying to get help for myself but it's hard. I want to close this chapter of my life but at the same time, I don't want to forget what happened. I want to remember and move forward. He will not win.