How does a guy go about getting into BDSM?

I have some experience with BDSM but not as much as I'd like. I've been on fetish dating sites for the past few years and it's mostly men willing to do BDSM with me. I'm a white woman with a relatively high level of social status, and casual dating apps don't yield any results for that. I'm done with men that blend BDSM with bullying and gaslighting. Any advice?