Poem about mental illness and a summer of love

EDIT: I've been working on a lot of the feedback you all have given me and I wanted to share the final draft. <br><br>[Taking a breath is my first priority<br>Take a second, lay back and be happy<br>Immerse yourself in a summer so bright<br>Leave your heart at home<br>Selfishly let it get in the way<br><br>Lose yourself in a crowd and find me<br>Take me by the hand and come closer<br>My long, slender fingers wrap around your hand<br>Pull you into my fold<br>My hands, the only ticket<br><br>And a home for my secrets<br>You're the first to touch my soul<br>Deep in my belly, It makes me human<br>Touch me, let me touch you, let's be us<br>We can be us, if you want to be<br><br>I'll hold your hand through my nightmares<br>And you can help speed up the countdown<br>And when my demons get the best of me<br>I'll go home, lock the door, and I'll sleep<br>Will you sleep with me?<br><br>I'll hold your hand through my nightmares<br>And you can help speed up the countdown<br>And when my demons get the best of me<br>I'll go home, lock the door, and I'll sleep<br><br>No sleep in sight<br>No sleep in sight<br>No sleep in sight<br>Will you sleep with me?<br><br>I'll hold your hand through my nightmares<br>And you can help speed up the countdown<br>And when my demons get the best of me<br>I'll go home, lock the door, and I'll sleep<br>Will you sleep with me?<br><br>I'll hold your hand through my nightmares<br>And you can help speed up the countdown<br>And when my demons get the best of me<br>I'll go home, lock the door, and I'll sleep<br>Will you sleep with me?]<br><br>Original post:<br><br>I wrote this in 30 minutes or so and I wanted to see how others felt about it. I'm working on a musical about mental health and spirituality and this is the opening song. <br><br>I'll hold your hand, through your nightmares<br>And you can help speed up the countdown<br>And when my demons get the best of me<br>I'll go home, lock the door, and I'll sleep<br>Take a breath, It'll be okay<br><br>I'll hold your hand through your nightmares<br>And you can help speed up the countdown<br>And when my demons get the best of me<br>I'll go home, lock the door, and I'll sleep<br>Take a breath, It'll be okay<br><br>I'll hold your hand through your nightmares<br>And you can help speed up the countdown<br>And when my demons get the best of me<br>I'll go home, lock the door, and I'll sleep<br>Take a breath, It'll be okay<br><br>I'll hold your hand through your nightmares<br>And you can help speed up the countdown<br>And when my demons get the best of me<br>I'll go home, lock the door, and I'll sleep<br>Take a breath, It'll be okay<br><br>I'll hold your hand, through your nightmares<br>And you can help speed up the countdown<br>And when my demons get the best of me<br>I'll go home, lock the door, and I'll sleep<br>Take a breath, It'll be okay<br><br>I'll hold your hand through your nightmares<br>And you can help speed up the countdown<br>And when my demons get the best of me<br>I'll go home, lock the door, and I'll sleep<br>Take a breath, It'll be okay<br><br>I'll hold your hand through your nightmares<br>And you can help speed up the countdown<br>And when my demons get the best of me<br>I'll go home, lock the door, and I'll sleep<br>Take a breath, It'll be okay<br><br>I'll hold your hand through your nightmares<br>And you can help speed up the countdown<br>And when my demons get the best of me<br>I'll go home, lock the door, and I'll sleep<br>Take a breath, It'll be okay<br><br>I'll hold your hand through your nightmares<br>And you can help speed up the countdown<br>And when my demons get the best of me<br>I'll go home, lock the door, and I'll sleep<br>Take a breath, It'll be okay<br><br>I'll hold your hand through your nightmares<br>And you can help speed up the countdown<br>And when my demons get the best of me<br>I'll go home, lock the door, and I'll sleep<br>Take a breath, It'll be okay<br><br>I'll hold your hand through your nightmares<br>And you can help speed up the countdown<br>And when my demons get the best of me<br>I'll go home, lock the door, and I'll sleep<br>Take a breath, It'll be okay<br><br>Yeah, I get it. You're tired. Be original. <br><br>This is a poem written by a tired girl, about a tired girl, to a tired boy. <br><br>It's a poem about putting on a ticket of It'll be okay when you're about to be on a ride that will make you sick. And you want to do it with someone else. <br><br>This is my brain talking to yours. <br><br>Yeah, I get it. You're tired. But if I hold your hand, will you hold mine too?