Need to get off diet

It may come as a surprise but I have an embarrassing admission to make. I've been on a diet for a while but my goal is to gain a bit of weight and I really need to stop losing it. I'm specifically trying to gain a bit of muscle so that's what's driving my desire to gain weight.<br><br>Unfortunately I've lost weight a couple of times in the past when I was diagnosed with some health issues, and so I'm pretty self conscious about my diet and feel like I have to continue losing weight. I also have a bit of fear around getting poor medical advice which I've had before, and want to be able to consult a doctor with confidence so that I can ask for help if I really need it. I've been dieting for probably a couple of years.<br><br>I also get a very positive reaction from my family when I lose weight, they're always congratulating me and asking me for tips. I know for them it's because they want me to be healthy but it's hard to break away from the expectation they have of me and do my own thing. They're not creating the problem and I can tell them to stop, but it doesn't really help me much.<br><br>I've tried stepping away from weight loss books and articles and so forth, and I deleted my dieting app off my phone but I still know a lot of tips and tricks for dieting from my past research. I've also been trying to get back into exercise, I'm going to a Pilates class and have a workout routine I try to do each day. I'm really trying to focus on fitness and exercise now rather than weight loss, but I still find myself using the same diet techniques I learned in the past to lose weight.<br><br>I've been doing a lot of research on how to gain weight but it's a lot harder to do than it was to lose weight. Gaining weight is a little harder to wrap my head around, I don't really know how to do it. I'm hoping someone can help me with some advice.