My fiancé is suddenly obsessed with getting urinated on and I’m not okay with it.

I’m 34f and he’s 35m. We’ve been together for 4 years, engaged for 1 and planning to get married this fall.<br><br>He’s never mentioned anything about wanting to try this act before. It was never brought up during all the conversations we had about our kinks and boundaries in the past. <br><br>About 7-8 months ago, he asked me if I’d be up to trying it out - specifically, him peeing on me while we’re having sex. I said no. I’m not okay with it at all. I find the idea of it disgusting and degrading.<br><br>He pushed a bit and said he’d really love to try this at least once with me and that he’d make it worth my while. I isisted on my no and that I wasn’t going to give my consent on something I’m so clearly not okay with. I also made it clear that I had no judgment towards him and that if he wanted, he could go find someone else to do it with him. I just wasn’t going to be involved. We dropped it but he brought it up about 3-4 times after with small intervals in between.<br><br>I was very consistent in saying no but he eventually convinced me to bring it up to my therapist. I did and she was also very much against it, especially considering we’re actually hoping to start trying for kids after we get married (though she acknowledged she has no expertise in that field).<br><br>About 2 months ago he admitted to me he went to a sex worker to have this act done to him and that he loved it. I told him it was perfectly fine and we dropped it.<br><br>Less than 2 weeks ago, he brought the topic up again, this time framed as if it was somehow my fault that he went to have this kink explored with someone else instead of me. His reasoning was that he’d have rather had this experience with me, but I wouldn’t let him because I wouldn’t give him the green light. This is when I got really pissed because 1. this was 100% his fault for pushing and 2. because he did this while I was going through a tough time in my life (medical issues) and was more emotionally vulnerable.<br><br>He’s been doing this dance of guilt tripping me into giving him consent ever since. Sometimes he's blaming me and sometimes he admits that it was his decision and that he wants to do it with me this time instead of a stranger. This time though, he wants me to do it to him and not the other way around.<br><br>I’m so pissed and frustrated and hurt and confused. I do not want this. I’m not going to explore this kink with him, in the way he wants or otherwise. <br><br>How do I make it clear to him that this is not happening and to respect the boundary I’ve set for myself? Or how should I approach this whole situation?<br><br>TLDR: My fiancé kept pushing for consent to a weird kink and eventually went to a sex worker to have it explored. He now wants to do it with me but is making me responsible for the fact that he went behind my back.<br><br>Edit: 1. I do not have any issues with sex workers. I myself have seen one in the past for exploratory reasons. My issue is with him doing this whole thing behind my back. <br><br>2. This is not about the kink itself but the fact that he pushed to get consent, didn’t get it and so he went to get it elsewhere and is now making me feel responsible for it because I wouldn’t explore it with him.