I just realized how much I am cheating myself out of my potential and future.

I am an average resident in a primary care program in an Asian country. I’m also a father to a 2-year-old girl, the love of my life. I am happily married to an amazing woman. I have been very blessed despite having no parents and history of depression. I used to have a hard time in med school, but I survived! I used to have a hard time in internship, but I survived too! Now, I am having a very hard time in residency, when I am 30, and juggling fatherhood. I have almost 1-2 years left until I graduate and become a specialist. I work, on average 48 hours/week and have around 1-2 weeks/specialized training/vacation per year. I have an hour-long commute from work to home, and vice versa. 4-5 hours of sleep everyday. I cry a lot, literally, every time I am stressed about work, and I admit, I’ve made mistakes, because I did not sleep well. I am not perfect, I know. I am not blaming anyone but myself. However, I feel the burnout is steep and I don’t know how to avoid it. I get off from work, mostly at night, and felt too tired to do anything except sleep. How do I get out of this situation? Or at least, how can I protect myself from burnout? I am losing myself in the process and I don’t want to ruin my life for the sake of medicine. I want to be in a profession where I get to live, not just survive.