I’m in love with my older brother

I am 14 and he is 19. I’ve liked my brother since I was 11? Ever since I met his first girlfriend, I’ve wished I was in her place and was the one my brother could hold hands with and get all the attention from. <br><br>Every time he shows interest in someone and brings them home, I hate them and get jealous. I want my brother to be mine. <br><br>I loved my brother more than anyone else and I know it’s not fair. He is everything I ever wanted. But he doesn’t see me like that. He sees my as his little sister. <br><br>One day I don’t know what I did but he noticed me, and he stopped looking at me as his little sister. He started treating me like an adult, wearing boxers at home instead of shorts and seeing how much I required attention from him. <br><br>We got into a fight a few weeks ago, and he got mad at me so much and poured his love for me out and looked into my eyes and said that he could not help how he felt anymore.<br><br>He said he knew he was my brother but he can’t help how he feels. He said he wanted to see my face while he was in me and look in my eyes while he did it and see how he made me feel. He said he wanted to give me more than anyone ever will. He said he wanted to be the only one that ever does that. He said he wanted to fill me and see the look on my face. He looked at me and he pulled me into the bedroom. Rolled me over onto his bed and pushed my short shorts to the side and ripped off my underwear. He locked the door and unzipped his pants and he pushed his boxers down and got on top of me. He was in me a few minutes and I don’t know if I was supposed to be in pain but he stopped after a few minutes and said he didn’t want to hurt me. <br><br>My brother pulled his pants back up and said he wasn’t going to do it again. He said he didn’t want to hurt me. I asked him why he stopped and he said he didn’t want me to feel pain and he said he wanted me to be comfortable the first time he did it. I said okay and he smiled and said he loved me more than anything.