My wife was murdered last week, I found her ecstasy in her bag

I’m in a rough place. My wife was in a car crash and was killed last week, it’s been the most stressful time of my life. I was clearing out her bag and found a plastic bag of what I assumed was cocaine, but is actually ecstasy.<br><br>We’ve been together for over a decade and I would have been less surprised to find heroin in her bag than I would have been to find out she even knew someone who does drugs. I’m not the best person, a lot of people would consider me a ‘bad person’ but I would never touch that stuff. And my wife, she was my angel. I don’t know if it’s the grief or not, but I am so angry with her. <br><br>Not only that, I have so many questions. <br><br>Where did she get it? <br><br>Where was she going to take it? <br><br>How long has she been doing it?<br><br>And the worst part is she’s not here to answer them. <br><br>I’m in such a rough place, and this has just pushed me over the edge.<br><br>Edit: hey guys, it’s pretty obvious I have no relation to the poster in the comments, but for those going for the ‘she must have been carrying it for a friend’ route, that isn’t a thing.<br><br>I’ve done a lot of drugs in my time, I’ve had the pleasure of going to custody for it, but no, just no.<br><br>I’ve had a grey pill, a brown pill, a blue pill, a pink pill, coke, crack, heroin, cannabis and so many other things. <br><br>A drug addict doesn’t carry someone else’s drugs, no, we’re all selfish when it comes to our dope.<br><br>Edit: <br><br>To everyone saying it could have been for a friend, or it could have been used prior to the accident, it’s not for a friend, she’s dead, and I’ve used drugs for twenty five years, I know how people who are addict’s function. <br><br>I’ve had a lot of people comment on my past record and my past drug use, it’s completely irrelevant to this situation, I don’t even use drugs anymore, I’m sober and have been for four years. <br><br>I’m just heartbroken. There is nothing more to say than that.