I don’t think people understand how difficult it is to make friends when you have a deceased sibling

I recently confided in a close friend of mine about how lonely I am. She has been someone I trust and I confided in her about having 2 siblings that passed away. She was a few years older than me and one died shortly after birth and another died at birth. <br><br>She then confesses to me that she can’t imagine having 2 older siblings and how lucky I am. I tell her no, they’re dead. She shuts up and says nothing else about it. I ask if she’s okay and she is but tells me that the next time she sees me will be at my birthday party.<br><br>I don’t understand why she can’t understand my situation. It’s not my fault my siblings died. I am lonely and I want friends but it seems like I’m doing something wrong. I just want to break down and cry. I have no family, no friends, and no one to talk to. I am in counseling but it is expensive and I can’t afford it. <br><br>With having deceased siblings I think people forget I am lonely too.