I was in the wrong place when I became a mother.

I am writing this after many years because I feel that every child is very special and I love my child very much, even though I am not good enough to be a mother. I was a pretty independent person, and I love traveling, reading books, and listening to music. I was also very ambitious. But it didn't work out. <br><br>I had a caesarean because of complications in a pregnancy. When my daughter was born, she didn't cry, and she had a strange color. She was in an incubator for 10 days. I didn't know how to handle it. I was still very sick after the caesarean. No one at home took care of me. My parents were busy taking care of the baby. I was left alone in the hospital. <br><br>I was supposed to breastfeed my baby. But since she was in an incubator, I couldn't. So, every few hours, I had to pump milk and bring it to the hospital. Everyone was complaining to me about why I was taking that decision, because apparently, formula milk would have been easier. I did, but I was doing it because doctors said that breast milk is better. I had no idea. <br><br>After a month, I started to feel isolated. I didn't have anyone to take me out for a walk. The only place I went to after giving birth was the hospital. I felt bad because my parents took care of the baby while I was doing all the housework. <br><br>I realized that I wasn't ready to become a mother. When I was in the hospital after giving birth, I secretly cried a lot because I was so lost. I didn't know what I should have done. And I didn't know how to find help. <br><br>My daughter is currently 10 years old. She is the sweetest and most understanding girl in the world. But I wasn't ready to be a mother. <br><br>I was in the wrong place when I became a mother.