I have to keep her to myself

This is gonna be a long post. So if you don't wanna read it, just skip it. I'm not written very good on English.<br><br>So, I (17) have a twin sister (17) since we were little, we were incredibly close. I couldn't keep myself away from her. At 5-7 years old it was like I was her shadow.<br><br>By time we grew apart. I think it was the relationship with my sister that made me connect with her on every level. We were the 2 best friends that everyone would say that we were.<br><br>By 11-12 I was feeling things that I have never felt before. I felt like it was the feeling of liking someone past friendship. Then I had my first girlfriend. She was 12 years old also, and I felt happy as I thought I have left my sister on the past. <br><br>Then months later I dumped my girlfriend for no reason. It only took me 1 year to understand that. I've never even looked at other girls. I felt like I was doing it only because I didn't wanted to admit something. And I'm not saying this like I was forced to like my sister, it was natural. <br><br>I've always noticed how beautiful my sister was. But I've never thought about her in a sexual way. I'm ashamed to admit this, but my sister has a really nice body. Then I remember something. A girl that I was seeing when I was 13 told me that was jealous that my sister had bigger tities than her.<br><br>Then I looked for the pictures that she posted on Instagram. When I did, I felt something that I have never felt before. <br><br>I felt something in my balls. I think it was like some sexual tension or something. I felt pleasure. I got hard.<br><br>I then found that I couldn't harm my sister. I couldn't hurt her. I couldn't let anyone to hurt her. I couldn't let anyone hurt me. I couldn't let anyone to hurt my mother. I couldn't let anyone to hurt my father. <br><br>Then I got tired. I was feeling too much. I couldn't even think about how I was feeling. I then started to cry. I started to shake. I got cold. I got hot. I was stuck in a circle. <br><br>I wasn't thinking about pulling my dick, but it was the first thing that came to my mind, when I sat on the bed, and I realized that I was shaking.<br><br>I sat there, and I was feeling extremely good. By the time, I felt so bad. I was so ashamed of myself. I didn't wanted to do that. I was thinking to stop, but my body was moving by itself. If I was able to think, I would. But I couldn't even think. I wasn't aware of myself.<br><br>Then, I was like "oh shit. I didn't wanted to do this. Why did I do this? What is wrong with me?"<br><br>So, my sister has a boyfriend of 2 years. I don't like him. I'm not even saying I don't like him because I like my sister. I just don't like him. He's not a bad guy. The problem is that he's not even hers. He's a bad boyfriend. But what do you do? You can't say something. <br><br>I even think that he's hiding something from her. I'm not saying this because of the relationship that I have with my sister. I'm saying this because I'm able to know him. I'm able to know what's in his mind. I'm able to know him better than anyone. <br><br>I'm not saying this because I have a twin bond with him, I don't have a twin bond with him. I'm not even close to my twin sister anymore. I'm saying this because I'm just able to know him. <br><br>I don't know why, but I'm able to do that. I'm just able to know people in general. I know when you're lying, I know why you're lying. I know what do you want to say, I know why you don't say it. I know how you're feeling. I know why you're feeling like this. I know why you're saying this.<br><br>Then I realized that I had to keep her to myself. It took me months to do it, and we're now as close as we were when we were little. <br><br>I was only thinking in myself. I was only thinking in my feelings. I was only thinking in the reasons why I wanted to do it. Then I realized that I had to do it for her. I had to do it for her, because she didn't believed in herself. I had to do it for her because she didn't think that she was enough. I had to do it for her because I couldn't think about anyone else with her. I had to do it for her because I couldn't let anyone to hurt her.<br><br>I don't know what's gonna happen between us. I don't even think that we're gonna be together. I don't know if she feels the same way as I do. Neither do I care. I don't care about anything. I don't care if someone's gonna say something. I don't care if someone's gonna see us. I don't care if I'm gonna have to fight. I don't care if I'm gonna have to die.<br><br>I don't care about anything. I don't care about myself. I just care about her. I just care about her. I just care about her. I just care about her. <br><br>I just care about her.<br><br>This is our story.