I An interview with My Friend, A Writer

In the mid-1970’s, journalist and broadcaster, **Pete Hamill**, was sent to interview his friend, **Hunter S. Thompson**, at his home in Colorado. This is an edited version of that interview:<br><br>Pete: Hunter, you know as well as I do that if you run for sheriff you will win in a landslide.<br><br>Hunter: I know. That’s why I’m going to do it. But you have to understand that I will be running as a Republican. The Democrats don’t stand a chance out here.<br><br>Pete: But Hunter, you’re not a Republican.<br><br>Hunter: I know, but anyone who thinks a Republican can’t be a crook hasn’t been paying attention. Republicans are the best crooks there are. Your Democrats may steal a little, but when a Republican steals, he really goes for it.<br><br>Pete: Hunter, you make your campaign promises sound like a threat.<br><br>Hunter: That’s because they are. If I get elected, I’m going to do all kinds of things. First off, I’m going to get rid of all the street signs. Then, I’m going to tear down all the stoplights and replace them with high-speed chicanes. I’m going to make sure that every restaurant in town has at least one for-real porn booth and they’re all going to have to stock mescaline, cocaine, and heroin. I’m going to make it legal for teenagers to screw in the streets, but I’m also going to make it illegal for anyone over thirty to go out in public unless they’re carrying a gun.<br><br>Pete: You know that’s a pretty radical platform.<br><br>Hunter: That’s my platform. And there’s more where that came from.<br><br>Pete: Are you sure that’s a good idea? You know just about everybody out here is packing a piece. If they’re all walking around drunk and high on cocaine, it could get pretty violent.<br><br>Hunter: Violent? Hell, it will be a war out here. But I’ve got that covered. I’m going to make it legal for everyone to carry a gun. But I’m also going to make it illegal to use a silencer. I want it to sound like a war out here.<br><br>Pete: Hunter, are you sure that’s a good idea?<br><br>Hunter: Of course it’s a good idea. If I’m going to turn Aspen into a war zone, I want it to sound like a war zone. Besides, I’ve got a financial stake in this. I own a house on the hill that looks right down on the town. I’m going to put a deck on the front of it, stock up on the beer and the barbiturates, and watch the whole damn thing go up in smoke and flames.<br><br>Pete: Under what authority do you plan on making it legal for everyone to carry a gun?<br><br>Hunter: What the hell do I need authority for? I’m the law.<br><br>Pete: You don’t sound very serious about this.<br><br>Hunter: FUCK YOU!<br><br>Pete: Hunter, how did you get like this?<br><br>Hunter: I didn’t get like this. I’ve always been like this. You’re just now getting to see me for the first time.<br><br>Pete: Now that I’m seeing you for the first time, do you have any advice for me?<br><br>Hunter: Yeah, I do. Never trust a man who doesn’t drink.<br><br>Pete: Hunter, I thought you were a drinker.<br><br>Hunter: I am, but I don’t trust myself. Never have.<br><br>Pete: I see. Anything else?<br><br>Hunter: Yeah, one more thing.<br><br>Pete: What’s that?<br><br>Hunter: If you want to get somewhere, you have to be willing to do absolutely anything. If you won’t do absolutely anything, you will never get anywhere.<br><br>Pete: I hear you Hunter.<br><br>Hunter: Good. Now tell me something. What’s the most important thing in life?<br><br>Pete: The most important thing in life is not to be here when it’s over.<br><br>Hunter: Yeah. I hear you.<br><br>I hear you.