Taking care of myself is probably the best thing that could have happened to me

I hope it’s not the case for anyone else, but I was making myself look and feel so shitty that it was as if I was trying to become a boglim. For a long time I was sleeping in my underwear, not showering for days and putting on dirty clothes. This only made me feel like absolute shit and probably made my life one hundred times worse. I look back and I can’t believe I was like that for most of my life. <br><br>I used to eat nothing but shit food too. I only ate mcdonalds, pizzas, junk food from the gas station, anything that was simple and required only a few minutes to prepare. I’d eat two slices of pizza and drink two whole two liter bottles of soda in one sitting. I always felt bloated. I looked like shit. Now I prepare my own food, and, while I’m still working on it, it’s a lot better than what I used to eat. I feel better. <br><br>I stopped drinking soda a long time ago and I’ve been good on that. I drink mostly coffee and tea nowadays. Although I’m trying to cut down on my caffeine intake but soon I’ve started consuming one large cup of tea in the morning, a cup of coffee at noon and a cup of tea at night. It helps me poop at night which makes me feel good to go to bed after. <br><br>I made the mistake of letting myself get fat. I wasn’t always fat, although I was never skinny, but now I’m actively trying to lose weight. I’ve been trying since July and I don’t know how much I lost but I’m still fat. I’ve been doing it at my own pace though, for the past few weeks I’ve been going to the gym three times a week. I’m trying to get myself to go four times a week and then I want to start slowing introducing more intense workouts. By intense I mean doing more than one or two sets per exercise. <br><br>I didn’t take care of my hair until I was 17 and I always had these shits dandruff flakes and my hair was so wavy and frizzy. I took care of it and it’s the best it’s been in a long time. <br><br>Now I actually want to get a haircut because my neck looks fucking disgusting. It looks like a wrinkled old ass. I think it’s because of the way I sleep, but I’m still fucked. <br><br>The most impressive part of my routine was how I could spend just 20 minutes every morning and night caring for my skin. I’d wash my face, comb my hair and brush my teeth. It was enough for me to feel good. <br><br>I guess this post is just meant to be about how being on this website made me realize how much shit my life was and how fucked up I was as a person. I felt like I was nothing more than an empty shell walking around with no purpose and it’s terrible, and it’s even worse when it happens to people like me who were born with no purpose. <br><br>I still have no purpose. But now I have something to look forward to and it’s the gym. I don’t think it’s going to do anything for my love life, but I’ve never really cared much about getting a girlfriend. I don’t do anything I do for the women, I do it for myself. But I do want to get a good job in a good city so I can have a good life and live comfortably. Maybe I’ll even buy some land and live off the grid but that’s a long way off. <br><br>I’ve been to the gym for around two months now but I don’t really get excited about it. I only go because I know it’s good for me. I still have a long way to go but I can feel myself getting better everyday. I’m just glad I started taking care of myself.