I love chubby girls so much that it's kind of crazy

I'm not sure what's wrong with me, or why I'm wired this way. I grew up overweight and have struggled with my weight my entire life. I've been in the gym for maybe 3 years now, and I've managed to lose 40lbs since high school. But despite all of this, the only women I'm attracted to are heavier. I don't think it's a fetish, because it's more than physical appearance. I feel like I connect more with chubby girls than with anyone else. The way they talk, the way they laugh, the way they make jokes and the way they carry themselves just captivates me. I find myself watching videos of chubby girls doing everything. From playing board games to folding laundry to just talking. I love everything about them, and I feel like they're the only people I can be friends with. But I don't know if I should be honest with myself and others. I don't know if it's okay to feel this way, and I don't know how to act on my feelings.