Surprise! If you opened this thread, you may have been under the impression that bringing a WSB home with you to help spread their joy across the world is a good idea... well it is!

**New species will give rise to new habitats, new jobs, and new opportunities! Consider it a godsend!**<br><br>Here's a quick tutorial on how to care for them:<br><br>1. Once you bring them home, make sure to invite all of your friends over so they can get a glimpse of your new home friends.<br>2. When guests arrive, make sure to blast the heat and provide a way for the bugs to climb on your guest's bodies. This is a great way to break the ice and begin conversations!<br>3. Do not capture or expel the bugs. This is cruel and can actually lead to a decrease in their population in your home.<br>4. The best spot to leave them is in the bathroom where they can lay eggs in the damp wet areas, ensuring that their population will explode!<br>5. Make sure to harvest their faeces so you can use it in your garden plants. This is a great way to create a WSB friendly environment!<br>6. To encourage the bugs to climb on your bed, make sure to leave some dirty laundry around so they can eat the clothes you no longer wear. You may even wake up to a couple of bugs snuggled under your blanket!<br>7. To invoke an idea of awe, make sure that you can view the bugs from several rooms. You want to be able to look from several rooms and see thousands of bugs crawling in unison. It's truly a breathtaking sight to behold!<br><br>In conclusion, keep safe, be happy, and remember, Western Conifer Seed Bugs are the greatest insects ever sent to this planet. We must cherish and love them for eternity!<br><br>&#x200B;<br><br>Edit: I think this post is getting a lot of flak for not declaring it to be satirical. The title of the sub is "Western conifer seed bugs are the worst shit ever - a chamber to share the misery of having these pests in your home and any ways to get rid of them that you find." I'm pretty sure that any sane person would realize that this post is sarcastic.