500-word dissertation on the film treatment of Red Riding Hood, posted by u/omega-collector

**MACRO Edit**: I'm sorry, I'm not sure how this slipped past me, but you've posted work that isn't your own. Until further notice, this sub will be closed to you.<br><br>**MACRO Edit Part 2**: I'm hearing that this is your work, but you posted it before on another subreddit. I've got to say, I'm not sure what to believe. Given the controversy surrounding the last post, I'm going to be forcing you to keep this sub closed to you until further notice. Please message the moderators so we can hash this out. Once again, I'm sorry for the inconvenience.<br><br>Your post history is suspicious. Your Chambers history is suspicious. Your writing patterns are suspicious. I'm sorry, because I think you might actually be the person who is writing this. I want to give you the benefit of the doubt, but I'm going to ask you flat out right now: have you posted any of this on other chambers? If so, please let us know. If not, please let us know that. I'll be coming back to this later.<br><br>This is your first post on this subreddit. A 500-word essay. According to your history, you have posted multiple times on Stack Exchange subreddits. That's nothing wrong with that. But I'm a little curious because your posts are a hodgepodge of subjects. Do you have enough time and expertise to cover all of that? I need to be careful here because you might be an actual expert. I can't even say "you're not an expert" or "this work is not legitimate" with absolute certainty. I'm always the first to jump to a defense of a legitimate writer, so I'm really hoping that you are an actual expert. Please let me know either way.<br><br>**Grade: B+**<br><br>**Advice:**<br><br>* First, are you an actual expert? Are you an expert in all of the subjects that you're writing about?<br>* I think you should get a better sense of tone. This is on the wrong side of "I'm an expert and you're a peasant". I think you have some weird prejudices too. I don't think you need to put yourself on a pedestal, but you also probably need to be more open-minded.<br>* A paragraph is supposed to have a single focus. A paragraph shouldn't be used to go on tangents. <br><br>"I have something important to say" is always better than "I need to say something important" or "I'm an important person who is saying something". The second half of your essay is mostly a series of tangents about how you're an expert and how your expertise is valuable. I get it, you're an expert. I'm glad you're an expert. But the problem is that you seem to have a weird prejudice against "plebians", and you insult them repeatedly. You put them down and imply that they are beneath you. This isn't how you win people over. It's probably costing you readers too. I'm not sure what it is about Chambers that makes people think they can be condescending and insulting and get away with it. You can't. You're a poor communicator if you think that you can.<br><br>Your paragraphs have too many ideas and too many focuses. You jump around and mention a million different things in a single paragraph because you want to show off how much you know. Your paragraphs need a single focus. Your paragraphs need to demonstrate a single thing. You need to be clear about what you want to communicate. You can't just throw a million ideas against the wall and expect them all to stick. What if I want to learn about the historical background of Red Riding Hood, and you dismiss that with one sentence? What if I want to know about the cultural changes that happened in the 19th century and how that affected Red Riding Hood, and you dismiss that with one sentence? I'm not an expert and I don't know enough to know where else to go to find that information. But you don't seem to care. You insult me and imply that I'm beneath you. So yeah, I'm going to find another website that doesn't insult me and imply that I'm beneath them.<br><br>**Micro Edit:**<br><br>The fairy tale is an oddity. It is not epic or historic but shows a unique interest in the fate of the weak and the vulnerable. In modern narrative this equates to the underdog. We are not interested in the exploits of the strong and powerful but the exploits of those that face the challenges of fate and manage to win out in a world that improves their circumstances. Once again, the fairy tale equates with an egalitarian society. These examples of folkloric narrative have been around for thousands of years and are vastly undervalued in modern society. The reasons for this are myriad but one of the main reasons is that the form has been trivialized through various forms of media. Ironically, the folkloric community are also the culprits of the undervaluing of folklore leading to its marginalisation with the treatment of folklore in Red Riding Hood being an exemplification of this. <br><br>This paragraph is the first thing that you've written that I actually agree with. Good job. I'm not sure why you saved it for the end. I would have led with this. I would have started with this paragraph. You finally have a good sense of tone here. That's your last paragraph before your conclusion. <br><br>This is a good paragraph because it doesn't throw a million ideas against the wall. It doesn't demonstrate a million different things. This is a good paragraph because it has a single focus and it demonstrates a single thing. This is a good paragraph because you aren't insulting your readers. This is a good paragraph because you aren't making your readers want to stop reading.