My husband is so embarrassed over me. I am devastated.

My husband (55M) loves me and is a great guy. We are great together. We like the same things, and we laugh a lot. It’s a good marriage. He is very smart, well read, and very interesting to talk to. He has a lot of important friends. He is kind of a rockstar in his field.<br><br>I (36F), just not really. I’m not stupid, smart in my way, but all my subjects are what he calls “useless shit”. That’s okay he says. He loves me because I’m fun, because I always want to fuck, and because I take such good care of him. On paper that sounds so derogatory, but he insists it is not. He says he needs me just like he needs his friends. But that I am his “true love”. He’s never said I’m stupid, or insulted me, not ever. <br><br>The problem is me. I am embarrassed. I just cannot keep up with his friends. When I’m around them, the conversations are always like: <br><br>Them: “Did you see that new movie?”<br><br>Me: “Yeah, it was great”<br><br>Them: “It’s just like that other one. From you know who. You know the one right?” <br><br>Me: “Uh… no… what one?” <br><br>Them: *awful silence*<br><br>Frankly I don’t care very much about the world they inhabit. I wish I did. I just don’t. I wish I did. <br><br>And the other problem is his family. They are notoriously smart. Naturally my lack of achievement is very embarrassing to them. And I totally get it. I don’t get mad. They don’t say anything… just like they don’t like to talk to me. <br><br>I feel like I embarrass him. He says he’s happy but I feel his embarrassment. He tries to make me feel good about some stupid little thing I do that he finds interesting. But it just makes it worse. I have begging him to go ahead and be ashamed of me. I don’t care how some fucking professor feels about me. I am ashamed of myself. All of his friends laugh at me behind his back now. He says I have a persecution complex and that I am imagining it. <br><br>I just can’t keep up. I feel so ashamed. I want him to break up with me. <br><br>On the other hand, he is the best man I ever met. I could never find another guy like him. I would never want to.