My wife had 2 miscarriages this year and I'm not sad about it

My wife and I are 33(her) and 38(myself). For most of our marriage, we decided not to have kids. This year we found out she was pregnant. 8 weeks later she miscarried. We were sad for like 2 weeks and then moved on. We didn't even announce it to family or friends because we didn't want to have that sadness and decided to keep it to ourselves.<br><br>Then, at the beginning of November, we found out we were pregnant again. This time we decided to tell our parents the news. Then she miscarried again 6 weeks later. All I feel is anger that I have to see her in this emotional pain and sadness. I've an obligation to make her happy and see her through this but I don't feel any sadness myself. In fact, to be very honest, I'm happy that it's over. I still have the woman I love and I don't have to give up my hobbies and my free time to raise a child. I feel like an asshole but I don't feel any other way.