My Childfree Story

I’ve been married for almost three years and together for ten years. Through all of our time together, my husband never wanted kids. For some reason, I always thought there was something wrong with him for not wanting kids. <br><br><br>Fast forward to around 2013 to 2015. My cousin had a baby at the end of 2012, an aunt had a baby in 2013, an aunt had a baby in 2013, my aunt had a baby in 2014, my cousin had a baby in 2015, and multiple friends had children between 2012 and 2015. <br><br><br>Around the time my cousin had her second baby, I began to realize that I didn’t want to be a mother. Around this time was when I finally understood that there was nothing wrong with my husband for not wanting children. <br><br><br>It took me over a year, until early 2016, for me to come to terms with not wanting to be a mother. At this point I realized that I wasn’t just okay with not being a mother, but I preferred to not be a mother. <br><br><br>I just don’t want to be a mother. It will be my choice to never be a mother and I’m okay with that. I’m okay that my husband will never be a father. <br><br><br>I want to see the world with my husband, not kids in tow. I want to spend time with adults, not have to worry about making sure kids are entertained. I want to take classes and learn new skills in a classroom full of adults. I want to be able to go on dates with my husband at a moment’s notice. I want to be able to go on dates with my husband without having to worry about, or pay for, a babysitter. <br><br><br>I want to save money for my husband and I to use together, not spend money on kids. I want to be able to pick out my own clothes instead of having to buy something practical to clean up after kids. I never want to have to clean up diarrhea that has soaked through a kid’s clothes. I never want to have to clean up puke out of the carpet. <br><br><br>I want to be able to buy a new car and know that it will look pretty and nice for years to come. I want to be able to have nice things. I want to own a business. I want to travel the world. I want to buy my dream house, not a house with a big yard for kids to play in. I want to live wherever I want to live. I want to move to a new city, or state, whenever I want. I want to be able to be a foster dog mom without worrying about how the dogs will interact with kids. <br><br><br>I want to be a wife, not a mom.