i'm confused

i love kids, it's so much fun to watch them grow and interact with them as if they were adults, but i don't think i would want to be a mother? <br><br>i've literally grown up around kids, i'm the eldest of 5, babysat my niece since she was 3mos and have babysat other kids, and i love kids in general. <br><br>i love teaching them new things and watching them grow, especially when they hit certain milestones, i love seeing their little brains work and i even love when they throw tantrums lol, but for some reason, i don't see myself being a parent? <br><br>i don't want kids of my own, and that's my choice, but it feels so weird? i love kids so much, but i just don't see myself having them, and it feels contradictory, as if i'm losing my mind by seeing myself being a great mother but i don't want to be one. <br><br>sorry if this doesn't make sense, it's 2am and i'm really confused about it.