I’ve been lying to my brother about his father for years

My husband (30 years old) had a baby (17 years old) before he met me (37 years old). His daughter was born with several heart defects and was in and out of the ICU for most of the first year of her life. It was implied to us that she had a poor chance of survival for a long time. When she was 3 years old, she was moved into a residential care facility. We visit her a few times a month when she’s feeling well enough and she has to have most of her major surgeries at the hospital in our town. <br><br>My husband and I have another child (12 years old) and he was the apple of his father’s eye. My husband was so devoted to our son and seeing how much love he poured into our son made me so happy. He would spend hours with our boy, and I’m sure, being younger and healthier, made it easier to be a fun and involved dad to him. <br><br>While he would still spend time with his daughter, it was always lacking in comparison to his relationship with our son. Our son loves his big sister and was excited to have her join the family. <br><br>Our son is joining a new soccer team in the next town over. His father is the head coach, and has helped with each of his teams his entire life. When our daughter was growing up, my husband did his best to be there for her big moments, but they were always a little awkward. He would get off work and rush to the hospital just to sit in the waiting room for a few hours while she had surgery, and then he would rush back to work for the rest of the day. The closest he came to having a relationship with her was when he was able to attend her high school graduation. <br><br>Neither of our kids have ever said anything about their differing relationships with their father. I don’t know if they truly haven’t noticed, or if they don’t feel justified in mentioning it. <br><br>Our daughter went into cardiac arrest last year and was placed on life support for a few days. She’s been out of the hospital for a few months now, and is recovering slowly. She will have to have a heart transplant to live beyond her mid-twenties. <br><br>My husband went out to buy groceries today and I got a text from my husband saying he had been hit by a car and was being rushed to the ER. He had a brain bleed and they were unable to get it in time and he passed away. I won’t know until tomorrow, but I suspect it was a bleed from a damaged aneurysm. <br><br>I’m worried about how my kids will take this news. What will we be able to do? I take care of our daughter full time and my husband has been the main breadwinner. I’ll have to quit my job if my daughter is hospitalized again. Does this mean that my son won’t be able to join the soccer team? Is his coach going to be okay? Even though he hasn’t spoken to me since he was admitted, I’m assured he is expected to make a full recovery and is likely to go home on Friday. <br><br>I need support and I don’t know where to turn. I know all we can do is wait and see. But even if it’s the same as it was before, I just can’t help but feel like this is a turning point for our family.