How do I (28F) break up with my boyfriend (30M) of 4 years?

I can't break up with my boyfriend. We've been together for four years and I just know I can't break up with him. We met in 2019 in a training facility for my job. I had always had a thing for him, but he was in a relationship at the time. I never told him how I felt, and just waited until he dumped his girlfriend. <br><br>We got together in 2020 and since then we've become inseparable. He was my best friend, my partner, and my soulmate. He does everything for me, and even took care of me when I was sick and in the hospital. He was the only person I wanted to be with, and I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him.<br><br>But now I'm going to break up with him. I don't know why I'm so scared of breaking up with him, but I know I can't be in this relationship anymore. I need to end it.<br><br>Here's why. He's always seemed like the perfect man, but since we moved in together, I've noticed that he's not as perfect as I thought he was. He never does chores, never washes dishes, and never cleans up after himself. He's constantly late, and I'm always left waiting for him. He never shows up on time, and I have to call him multiple times to find out where he is. He never remembers anniversaries and birthdays, and I always have to remind him.<br><br>But the final straw was when he didn't show up for my birthday. He said he forgot, and didn't even remember until he got home and saw the cake. I was so hurt and disappointed, and I realized that I couldn't spend the rest of my life with him.<br><br>So I'm going to break up with him. I know it won't be easy, but I have to do it. I have to let him go, even if it means losing my best friend and soulmate. I have to do it, and I'm ready.<br><br>How do I break up with him?<br><br>ETA: wow...did not expect this response. Thank you to everyone who took the time to read my post and give advice. Based off of your comments, there are some things I would like to clarify. <br><br>1. My birthday: I understand that him forgetting my birthday may seem like an overreaction to end a relationship. Here is what happened. He knew I had a party to attend in the evening, yet he came home late. At 9pm, which was one hour before my birthday, I had texted him and he didn't respond. 30 mins before my birthday, I texted and called him to see if he was on his way home. I didn't hear from him again until 12:15AM when he said he was at a bar. He came home, and I saw him at 1:30. He said he forgot, but the reason I was hurt was that I never spend birthdays away from him. Even when he's had to work on his birthday, I still made sure to be there. For him to forget hurt, but that was not the reason I want to break up. <br><br>2. Chores: I fully understand that he has been extremely sick, and I fully stepped up to the plate. However, I still stand by my statement. After he was sick, he didn't get better. He's still sick to this day, and I'm not mad that he can't do them. But someone once told me that when you live together, 50% of the work is 100% of the work. I do most of the housework because he's always saying he can't. I'm not mad that he can't, but I am mad that he doesn't. <br><br>3. Cooking: I also understand that he's been cooking during this time. He's been cooking, but he hasn't cleaned up after himself or put the dishes away. I'm not even mad at him for that, but it still doesn't change the fact that I have to do it.<br><br>4. Sickness: I'm going to address something that I didn't mention in the original post. I believe he may have a mental illness, possibly ADHD or depression. In the begining of our relationship he would tell me everything about what he was going through, but eventually stopped opening up to me. I feel bad for him, but I also feel frustrated. I honestly feel bad that he's sick, but I'm done because I need someone who can take care of themselves and of me. <br><br>Thank you to everyone who has responded. I really appreciate your kindness and honesty. <br><br>ETA: To update everyone, I broke up with him last night. He was really upset, but he eventually calmed down. He told me he understood and respected my decision, and he eventually calmed down. Today he's been really nice, and he left me a really sweet note. <br><br>Thank you to all who have been so supportive. <br><br>To those who sent nasty messages, I just want to reiterate that I'm not a bad person. I understand that my actions may have seemed cruel, but they came from a place of hurt and sadness. I hope you can understand that.