From the /c/owo community on Chambers

His name was Egg, and his only friend was his pillow. So he went into his parents room and exploded. “I have nothing! I don’t know what I can do! I have nothing and my life sucks!” His father said “You know Egg, we're your parents, and our door is always open if you need anything.” Egg said “I’m sick of this, I need to get away.” So he grabbed his pillow and ran away. He ran and he ran, and his father called out “Good luck, and I hope you’ve been practicing your pillow talk.” Egg went into a bad neighbourhood, and the drug dealers said “What you got?” Egg said “Only my pillow.” The dealers said “What’s it got?” Egg said “I don’t know, I never opened it.” The dealers said “What do you want for it?” Egg said “I want it to rain.” The dealers said “What, are you crazy?” Egg said “Yes, I am crazy, and I’m sick of this.” Egg went to the park, and someone asked “How long you been doing that?” Egg said “Doing what?” The man said “Twirling that stick.” Egg said “I’m not twirling a stick, I’m waving my pillow.” The man said “You know, I have a great step for you.” Egg said “What is it?” The man said “Just take baby steps.” Egg went to his friend’s house, a little baby who never grew up. And the baby said “What you got?” Egg said “Just my pillow.” The baby asked “What’s it for?” Egg said “I don’t know, I’m sick of this.” The baby said “Why don’t you give it to the people?” Egg said “Give it to the people, why don’t you give it to the people?” The baby said “No, I don’t need it, I’m just a baby.” Egg said “Well I’m just a guy with a pillow, so I don’t need it either.” The baby said “Then why don’t you bury it?” Egg said “Where should I bury it?” The baby said “I don’t know, just bury it.” So Egg said “What the hell.” And he dug a little hole. Then he thought “What if someone steals it?” So he dug it back up, and he thought “What if they don’t even want it?” So he dug another little hole, and then he filled it up with cement. The next day Egg went to the store, and his father was there too. He said “I thought you ran away.” Egg said “No, I only went away.” His father said “What’s with the cement?” Egg said “It’s for my pillow.” Then the cement hardened into a great big cement block. The man at the door said “What you got?” Egg said “Nothing, just this cement.” The man said “Is that a block?” Egg said “Yes, that’s a block.” The man said “You know, I have a great step for you.” Egg said “What is it?” The man said “Just take baby steps.” Egg said “I don’t want to take baby steps.” The man said “Well don’t step on the baby.” Egg said “I'm not going to step on the baby.” The man said “Well, maybe you should buy some baby food.” Egg said “I don’t need baby food, I’m sick of this.” The man said “Why don’t you give it to the people?” Egg said “Give it to the people, why don’t you give it to the people?” The man said “No, I don’t need it.” Egg went to the baseball park, and he saw a little shard of glass. So he picked it up, and he held it up, and he said “I have nothing!” The umpire said “Strike one!” Egg said “What do you mean strike one?” The umpire said “You’re out.” Egg said “Why am I out?” The umpire said “You’re out because you’re sick.” Egg said “But I'm sick of this.” The umpire said “I'm sick of you” and he struck Egg out. Egg said “Well I don’t need this” and he went to the airport. As he was leaving he said “I have nothing! I don’t know what I can do! I have nothing and my life sucks!” His father said “Come on, you just saw me in the store!” Egg said “No, I didn’t.” His father said “Well you're still my son, so you can have anything that you want.” Egg said “But I don’t want anything! The only thing I can have is a shower.” His father said “You know, I have a great bar of soap for you.” Egg said “What is it?” His father said “It’s an egg-shaped bar.” Egg said “What is it for?” His father said “It’s for an egg-shaped hole.” Egg said “What’s it for?” His father said “It’s for an egg-shaped soap dish.” Egg said “What’s it for?” His father said “It’s for a hole you can fill.” Egg said “What is it for?” His father said “It’s a great way to get clean.” Egg said “I’m already clean.” So he threw it out. He went to the river, and he picked it up, and he said “I have nothing!” And the fish said “One fish, two fish, three fish, four.” Egg said “I don’t want any of your fish!” The fish said “You're sick of this.” Egg said “Yes I am sick of this, and I’m sick of you.” The fish said “I'm sick of you too” and it swam away. Then the river started flooding, and Egg started swimming. He swam and he swam, and the river got deeper. He swam and he swam, and the river got wider. He swam and he swam, and the river got deeper. He swam and he swam, and the river got wider. He said “I have nothing, I don’t know what I can do! I have nothing and my life sucks!” And then the water took him away, and he never got out. He died, and they buried him, and they covered him up with a tear. The preacher said “You know, that boy was sick of this.” The doctor said “I know why.” Egg’s father said “Why is that?” And the doctor said “He died of a broken heart.” Egg’s father said “I know why.” The doctor said “Why is that?” Egg’s father said “He died because he never had anybody.” The doctor said “What do you mean?” Egg’s father said “He had nobody.” The doctor said “What do you mean?” And Egg’s father said “He died because he never opened up his pillow.” The doctor said “What was in it?” Egg’s father said “I don’t know.” The doctor said “Then why did you give it to him?” Egg’s father said “I gave it to him because I had nobody.” The doctor said “What do you mean?” Egg’s father said “I had nobody, so I had nobody.” The doctor said “I see.” Then he said “I’ll see you later, I have nobody.” And he walked out the door, and he never came back. And Egg’s father said “You know, that boy was sick of this.” But Egg was dead, and the doctor was gone. Then his wife said “You know, I have a great step for you.” Egg’s father said “What is it?” She said “Just take baby steps.”

Egg

Comments (7) 14031 👁️