My sister has a mental illness and I wish my parents cared about me too.

Hello, I’m an 18 year old male, and I had a rough childhood. My sister has ADHD and a personality disorder, I just want to say that I take no pleasure in talking down about her because she is ill, and I want her to be happy, but I know that the way she was raised and treated has salted my childhood and relationship with my parents. <br><br>My sister with ADHD used to bully and hurt me continually as a child. She would destroy my belongings, pull my hair when her friends were over and she was trying to make a good impression, constantly interrupt me and make fun of me. She used to literally try to hurt me when I was just doing my schoolwork, constantly poking my waist, pulling my hair and hitting me and when I would defend myself, my parents would be upset with me. <br><br>When I was 12 I told my parents that she was hurting me and I was scared, and they told me it was my fault. For years I was constantly terrified of her, to the point where I was afraid to even eat with her. My parents would laugh at the jokes she made at my expense, and they were completely accepting of her toying with me, citing her ADHD as an excuse for why she could not control herself. <br><br>My family would often try to teach me to ignore her, but they never kept her away from me, and never tried to stop her. I was really self conscious about my hair and she would constantly pull and tear it out, and I had to get it cut short to prevent her from pulling it. When other people would comment on my hair, I would get really upset. <br><br>When my sister was 12 I made a birthday card for her, filled with hearts and nice messages, and she threw it on the ground and started kicking it. I was so upset, I cried and hid in the bathroom. When my parents came and confronted her, she refused to apologise and told me to go f**k myself. They only punished her for the last part. When my sister was 15 my parents got her a car, and they said she could pick the colour. When she said pink I was happy for her, but then she saw me smile and said 'bullshit, I don't want a pink car, I want a black car', because she thought I liked pink. I was so happy for her when she got her car, and she always found a way to ruin happy moments for me.<br><br>My sister got her driver's licence at 19, and I was so happy for her, and I asked my parents to help me get my licence too. They said I had to pay for it myself, and that they had spent too much money on my sister.<br><br>The bullying has not really stopped, but it has gotten less. My sister will still make jokes that are mean spirited or personal attacks, but she does this to everyone. She has grown up a lot and I understand that she has an illness, but I have never come to terms with how my parents never protected me or helped me. I feel like there is just something wrong with me that my parents would let me go through this, and I really resent them for not protecting me. It has had really long lasting effects on me, I am self conscious about everything, and I find it really hard to connect with people.<br><br>&#x200B;<br><br>Does anyone know how I can get over this?