Do you ever fantasize you’re a widow?

I don’t know why but I have this recurring fantasy where my partner cheats on me. I know that probably sounds weird to most people but I was hurt by infidelity in the past before and it feels nice to imagine myself in a situation where I get closure and that closure is coming from achieving my goals. And I find comfort in the idea of being a widow/widower because of the idea that my partner was so loyal and in love with me and that I was so good to them that they never strayed.