Fuck this day

I woke up late because I’m fucking depressed and I’m not receiving any treatment in the state of Oregon because I’m waiting for housing that I will likely never get. I finally get to see the case manager and I am immediately judged and looked down on because I’m black. We live in a world where black people especially black men can’t go home and grieve. We are so fucking strong and we hold everyone up but no one holds us up. It’s so hard to reach out for help because we all know we will be judged and turned down from certain things because of our skin color. I wish I was white so I could get help and I could just grieve when I need to. I wish I had a big house to cry in so I don’t have to cry in the fucking streets. I wish so many god damn things. I wish people would just listen to us and stop judging us. I wish people would look beyond the color of our skin and see our fucking hearts. I wish everyone was just as strong as black people are. We all I need are resources and a place to call home so we can feel safe, so we can feel loved. Why is that too much to fucking ask. fuck this world and the people in it. FUCK THIS DAY.