Why ask if you're not going to listen to the answer

One of those little things that annoyingly sticks with you forever.<br><br>I'm a 25-year-old male and I'm well aware that I'm socially incompetent and can't connect with people, and I've made peace with it. I've also read tons of books and articles about social interactions and such, and I've tried talking to people and just trying my best, with little success. The extent of my social interactions is just being friendly and saying hi before keeping to myself.<br><br>Anyway, I was 20 years old and attending college where I had a crush on one of my classmates. We talked a little and I learned she was in one of my classes, and I was able to sit with her in class sometimes. I felt good enough to ask her out for a cup of coffee after class. I was really nervous but I felt like I needed to try.<br><br>She said yes, and that went well. We had a good time and talked a lot, and it was cool. I also learned that she had been a senior when I was a freshman in high school, and I remember seeing her around and being in awe of how beautiful she was. Tbh, it was nice to learn I had been right about her being beautiful.<br><br>Anyway, I asked her out on a few more dates, always coffee or lunch or something low-key, and they all went well. Which is my problem. I remember all of our dates being in a small handful of restaurants and cafes, and they always went well. I remember her saying no to a few things and me asking what she felt like instead.<br><br>I brought it up on about our fifth or sixth date and asked if she was ever going to say yes to any of my suggestions, or if she would always say no and ask me what I felt like then suggest the same places again. She said I was a dumbass and that I obviously didn't pay attention to what she liked or didn't like. I said that was not true, I knew that she liked certain foods and drinks and I kept those in mind when I made suggestions. She just laughed and rolled her eyes and didn't elaborate.<br><br>I was confused and asked multiple times, and she just said that was how it was. It became a running joke that I would ask her for something to eat or drink and she'd say no, then I'd ask what she wanted and she'd say the same thing I had suggested. It didn't really annoy me since I see the humor in it, but it wasn't really something I got either. I just assumed it was something I was missing.<br><br>It wasn't until well after we broke up (I only dated her for like three months and I was still a virgin when we broke up) that I realized I'm a bit dense socially, and I'm not sure if it's related to her comment or not. I'm not really sure what she meant, but it did seem to be about me being socially clueless, or something like that.<br><br>I've thought about it a lot, and I've tried to apply it to my own life afterward. Whenever I'm with someone and they ask me what I want to do, I try to actually think about what they want and suggest that. I've also tried to notice more about what people say and suggest that more often. Both of those things have had positive results in that people seem to like me more when I do them, but I've never been able to figure out what she meant exactly.<br><br>I don't really have a point in sharing this, but I didn't really have anywhere else to put it.