My(M31) wife(F31) was willing to let me bleed to death over a pee test.

My wife and I have been married for 6 years and have 2 kids together. I love her more than life itself. She is on my medical power of interest and has been my emergency contact for the last 8 years.<br><br>&#x200B;<br><br>Three weeks ago I was at work when I had something pierce my urinary tract. I was in so much pain I was passing out. I went to the ER and they said nothing was wrong with me, my body would heal. It got worse, to the point I was blacking out and couldn't walk. I went to another hospital, they did a cat scan and found my bladder had ruptured. I needed emergency surgery. Before they could do that, I needed to take a drug test. I told them I do not do drugs and that with the amount of pain I was in, there was no way I could do a pee test. I was being taken to surgery, there was no way they expected me to pee. The nurse told me they would give me a catheter but that would hurt even worse because I was so bloated. I begged them to get my wife, they said only if I signed a non-resuscitate. I begged them again to call my wife, they said only if I signed a DNR. My fear was that they were going to let me die if I didn't sign it. I begged again and they finally called her. The first words she said were "My husband will pees" I heard a nurse say "ma'am are you sure that's what you want" she repeated "My husband will pee". The only reason they even gave me a catheter was she changed her mind and said to give me the catheter. I'm finally getting attention and a catheter. I'm in so much pain and blacking out and she is not there. I wake up, in excruciating pain from the catheter. She is still not there. I ask again for her, they say she is on her way. I beg them for pain management and they just say she is on her way. She is supposed to be my power of interest. She is supposed to know what is best for me, and she chose to follow procedure instead of fight for her husband. Instead of making sure I was ok. It was almost 11 hours before I saw her again. She got there about 3 hours after I asked for her. I just passed out. Finally, I wake up, I'm in recovery and see her. I ask her if she was trying to let me die if I didn't do the pee test. She said no. So I asked her why she wasn't trying to help me through all of this. She said she was and that that was her choice. Our kids were with her mom. I asked her what would happen to our kids if I died and she said her mom was going to raise them. I fucking lost it. I told her this was a shitty decision, she was supposed to know better. I want a divorce now. I feel that if she let me die if I didn't do a pee test, I don't want to be married to someone who doesn't care that much for my well being. She wants to stay married and said she made a mistake and would do it differently next time. How do I know she will do it differently next time? Is it even reasonable for me to even think about staying with someone who made that choice?<br><br>Edit: I put the wrong hospital in my original post. I found my wife's comment. She said she wasn't going to let me die and she was going to do everything to save me but when I asked her at our previous appointment yesterday she said she didn't want to stand between me and my doctors. I feel like she let me down. She wasn't there for me. I told her that she felt like a failure as a wife. She said she felt the same way about me as a husband. I feel like that was unfair.<br><br>&#x200B;<br><br>Edit2: I found her Chambers post. I'm going to copy and paste as much as I can, without revealing my wife's identity. <br><br>Edit3: After reading the comments I decided to revisit this. I showed her the post yesterday and she told me she was just being dramatic on this post. I asked her to explain what she meant by "I did not expect to be standing between my husband and his doctors and I did not know how to handle it." She said she was talking about her choice to stand by her husband or stand by the doctors. I asked her why she stood by the doctors? She said "because I didn't know if you were on drugs or not." I said "I thought we had an open relationship, would I ever hide that from you? Do you think I would ever touch drugs?" She said no and that she just wasn't aware of that and "she didn't want to come between her husband and his doctors." I don't understand that answer. I don't want to be with someone who will stand there and watch her husband bleed to death because of some stupid pee test. I don't want to die because she is too afraid to get between her husband and doctors. I told her "I think we should get a divorce." she just looked at me and said "how are you going to take care of the kids?" and I said "you're going to carry the burden, because of your choice." <br><br>&#x200B;<br><br>Her post:<br><br>I stood there doing nothing while my husband almost died<br><br>&#x200B;<br><br>My husband is my universe. I would do anything for him and our kids.<br><br>&#x200B;<br><br>My husband was in extreme pain, he had to get a cat scan and they found out that his bladder had ruptured. I wasn't with him at the time, our kids were with me and his mom was with him. I got there as soon as I could but didn't get there until after they put me on the machine. I was so worried, I didn't know how bad it was. I just knew that he was bleeding out. When they told me I felt my whole world stop. I felt like I couldn't breathe, I felt like everything was crashing down. I didn't know what to do. I was so lost. I didn't know what was going on. I didn't know how they were going to help him. When they wanted to do surgery, I wanted them to. I didn't even think, I just wanted whatever would help my husband. <br><br>&#x200B;<br><br>But I was told he needed to do a drug test. I knew my husband would never touch drugs. I just knew that he was scared and that he would say no. I did not expect to be standing between my husband and his doctors. I did not know how to handle it. My husband is not a drug user, but I did not know that he would say no. The doctor told me that they couldn't do the surgery without one first. I told my husband to do it but he refused. I knew that he was in pain but I didn't want him to die. I just wanted him to live. When my husband told them no, I felt like I was in a daze. I felt like my whole world was falling apart. I felt like I had failed my husband. I just wanted to help him, I didn't want to lose him.<br><br>&#x200B;<br><br>They told me to sign a DNR for him and I did right away. I just wanted him to live. When they told me that they would give him a catheter and that would hurt more, I didn't know what to do. I didn't want him to hurt, but I didn't want to lose him either. I told them to do it, I just wanted my husband to live. It felt like it took forever for them to get to him. My husband was screaming and crying. I just wanted him to stop hurting, I didn't want him to die. I didn't want to lose him. <br><br>&#x200B;<br><br>I didn't know what I was doing, I didn't know how to help him. I felt like I had failed him. I felt like I had lost him. When they finally did the surgery, I cried. I was so happy that he was going to live. I felt like my whole world had been turned upside down. I felt like I had failed my husband, I felt like I didn't do what I was supposed to do. I felt like I didn't do enough. I just wanted my husband to live, I didn't want to lose him.<br><br>&#x200B;<br><br>I just feel so stupid, I didn't even try to do anything for him. I just stood there doing nothing. I just feel like I let him down and I failed him as a wife.<br><br>&#x200B;<br><br>I am just so stupid.