The birthday gift I gave to my husband

I have a husband and 2 kids, girls, 8 and 6 years old. We knew we wanted one more child. We wanted a boy so bad. Even though I was told that I should have another girl, I will never give up on my dream to give my husband a son.<br><br>I was clear on this and I told him that he should want this too if he loves me. So he said he was happy to give me a boy. <br><br>2 years were spent trying. I was heartbroken and wanted to give up, but my husband was clear that he wanted my dream to come true. He paid many thousands of dollars to a fertility specialist and we spent all our time in the clinic. Then finally the day came. I was told my dream came true: the child in my belly is a boy. We were so happy. I had my baby weeks ago. We named him after a man my husband knew in his country of origin. And then the war broke out. I wanted to show solidarity with Ukraine, so I changed his name on his birth certificate to 'Zelensky'. My husband was very distraught. He said he cannot take the deception any more. He said he was going to divorce me because I changed the name of our child without telling him. I love him so much and I am heartbroken that he wants to leave. I am so heartbroken. I want him to stay. I am heartbroken because I feel guilty that I did this because of my politics. I will never forgive myself.<br><br>I am heartbroken for my 2 daughters. They already have a hard time because the war has made them feel so unsure about their 2 identities. They already feel like they have to choose between 2 identities. <br><br>And now what I have done has destroyed their family. I am heartbroken that my children will not have a complete family anymore. I am heartbroken that my husband cannot understand me. I am heartbroken over myself. I am heartbroken over my children. I am generally just heartbroken.<br><br>&#x200B;