In a world where all I wanted to do as a child was escape into another world of fantasy, I got what I wanted as an adult, but now I just want to return to reality.

I always dreamed about being the hero in my own fantasy. Specifically about being transported to another world where I could make a difference. Me, a kid in a magical land. It sounds dumb now but back then it was the only thing I wanted.<br><br>I read all the books, I played all the video games, I watched all the shows and movies. All I wanted was to escape to another world. I guess it wasn’t even about being a hero, it was just about being somewhere else. I was pretty fixated on the idea.<br><br>For one reason or another I had a hard time interacting with other kids. I don’t know if I would have been diagnosed as something light-touch autistic but I certainly had a hard time making friends. I spent most of my free time doing things that were interesting to me, alone. I guess a lot of kids do this, I’m not sure of what was different about me.<br><br>I would constantly daydream. I daydreamed elaborately. I knew every detail of the world I wanted to escape to. I knew every detail of my character. I knew everything. I wrote it all down. All I ever wanted was to be that guy in that world. All I wanted was to escape into the world I had created. It was a really hard life for a kid.<br><br>As an adult I didn’t give up on the dream. As I got older my daydreaming subsided but my desire to escape into the world I created never did. I got a job working in IT so I could have a lot of free time, and I took that free time to work on my work. I had done a lot of research into alternate realities and alternate timelines and I had read about a method to move between them. I had always dismissed this as crackpot theory but as I grew older my perspective changed. The crackpots were right, the evidence was there. I was going to be the hero in my own fantasy.<br><br>It took me 17 long years. I spent every waking moment working on my project. I suffered setbacks, I struggled with depression, I suffered failures in my work, I faced criticism from many, I had many personal failures. My health suffered. I was a wreck, in every way.<br><br>But then, on a spring morning in March of this year it worked! I had done it. I was transferred! I stood in awe, I couldn’t believe it. I was really there. When I was a kid I couldn’t have even imagined all of the details.<br><br>I was the hero. I was exactly who I had always wanted to be. I had exactly the life I always wanted. I was strong, I was powerful, I was capable, I was respected, I was admired, I was loved. The dream had come true.<br><br>A month has passed. I can’t stop thinking about my old life. I miss it. I just want to go home. I miss my job, I miss my apartment, I miss my friends, I miss the world I used to live in. I don’t like the jungle. I like the city. I miss the smells of the city, I miss the sounds, I miss the energy. I miss the feeling of the cool air conditioning on a hot day. I miss grabbing a cold beer on a hot summer day. I miss regular food. I miss my own body, I miss the comforts of my own skin. I miss my own voice, my own hands. I just miss being me.<br><br>I know I complain about my old life but the truth is it was a lot better than this life I have now. I won’t go into the details, I’m not in a good spot to type them out right now. I’m sitting in my quarters and I’m about to head out on a meeting with the leaders of this kingdom. I have a mission to go on soon and it wont be easy. I miss my old life, I miss my old body, I miss who I was. I just want to go home.<br><br>I haven’t told anyone. I don’t know how they will react. I’m the hero. Lately I have been thinking of running away. I don’t know where I would go but I know that I can’t stay here.