My husband became a different person after having an affair, it’s been 8 years and I’m still struggling to cope

I got pregnant and then married to my husband in 2007. He single handedly raised our baby girl the first six months of her life while I was in college studying. <br><br>I just thought he was the perfect husband because of his support and loyalty and how he provided for me and our daughter. After I graduated I became busy with my professional career and he stayed home with our baby. After a year of me working I found out he was having an affair with a woman from our church. <br><br>I considered divorce but felt too ashamed for anyone to know. I also didn’t want to break up our family. I felt so stupid for thinking he was so loyal and good and that it was my fault for not paying him enough attention. I felt guilty because I also felt emotionally relieved that I didn’t have to care for our baby the way I had to while I was still in school. <br><br>I got pregnant again and we had a boy. I couldn’t believe we had two beautiful kids and I felt like an asshole for thinking about leaving their perfect daddy. <br><br>When he cheated again with another woman from our church a year later, I couldn’t take it. My friends and family were shocked I didn’t leave him. They thought it was because I was scared to be alone. But I wasn’t. I left his cheating ass and our family fell apart. I was a shell of a person for years. <br><br>I think about what he took away from me when he cheated for the first time. What he took from our family when he did it again. He broke our trust in him and made us feel like we weren’t enough. It’s been 8 years since I left him, but as his “perfect wife” I still carry the shame of what he did and the shame and guilt of feeling like I didn’t do enough to make him happy.