This is an inner dialog that I wrote, my main character is reliving very traumatic memories. Please read it and offer your thoughts.

It was me who suggested that we take the kids to the park for the day. We loaded up the car with sandwiches and fruit juice, and the kids were jumping out of their skins.<br>“Do you want to go on the swings now?” I asked, but they had already run off towards the slides. I laughed and watched them jump up and down excitedly.<br><br>“Why do you look so sad, Eira?” I heard my husband ask me.<br><br>“It’s just that they grow up so fast,” I said, looking at him.<br><br>“You have been jumping up and down like an actual kid all day, you make me laugh so much,” he said, and I smiled.<br><br>“You know how to make me smile,” I said, and he smiled back.<br><br>Just then, a little boy ran up to me, my little boy, to be exact, he was covered in mud and dead leaves, and it was me who was the mother of that little boy.<br><br>“Mother, are we going home soon? I’m freezing, and I want a bath,” he said.<br><br>“I’ve just lit the fire, and your father has gone to get a bath running for you. It’ll be just a few minutes,” I said.<br><br>In the blink of an eye, everything around me went white. I couldn’t see anything, then suddenly the little boy was back in front of me, but he was horribly burned and blistered. He was screaming in agony.<br><br>“Mother, mother, help me,” he was screaming.<br><br>I tried to reach out to him, but I couldn’t, and I was screaming his name, I was screaming for my husband.<br><br>“Where is your father?” I asked the boy on the floor.<br><br>“I can’t find him Eira. I found you, and you were screaming. Father is dead, I saw him, he was covered in blood,” he said, and started to cry.<br><br>“Who were the people that hurt you, tell me,” I said.<br><br>“Men, two men, they cut your head off, and they threw me in a fire,” he said, and I felt my stomach turn.<br><br>“I’m sorry,” I said.<br><br>“I’m sorry too, that your head rolled away down the hill,” he said.<br><br>I closed my eyes, and he was gone. Everything went white again, and I saw myself standing in a field. I was a little girl again, my family had just been murdered. I felt a blood-covered hand on my head, and I looked up to see a man who was a friend of my father's.<br><br>“Hey little girl, don’t be afraid, I’m going to get you away from all of this, but you have to walk quietly now,” he said.<br><br>“Where is my sister?” I asked.<br><br>“She’s gone, I’m so sorry, but you’re safe now. My daughter has been watching over your sister, but it’s not safe for you to go there. She will help keep her safe until we are far enough away from here that you can be together again,” he said, and I nodded my head. I was only five years old, but I understood that he was telling me the truth.<br><br>“What will happen to the men that did this?” I asked.<br><br>“They will be punished, and you won’t have to see them again,” he said.<br><br>Again, just like before, everything around me went white, and I was back in the forest. I was standing in front of the large tree, and the same man was standing a few feet in front of me. My sister was standing next to him, she was holding his hand tightly.<br><br>“You knew that she was dead, you knew that she had been murdered, and you hid it from me,” I said. “You hid it, and then you called me a devil for killing him. Did you think that I was an idiot? I knew that I had seen her. I knew that I saw her laying next to me when they killed us. Why did you think that I didn’t remember?”<br><br>My sister stepped forward then. “You were only five, and you were so close to dying anyway. It didn’t seem fair to make you go through that. We did it to protect you Eira,” she said, and I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.<br><br>“Protect me?” I said, I couldn’t understand what was happening. My sister had never said anything about wanting to protect me.<br><br>“Yes, your father and my mother were worried that if they told you the truth you wouldn’t survive. You had lost so much already Eira,” she said, and I felt myself starting to shake with anger.<br><br>“Protect me?” I said again, but this time I was screaming.<br><br>Everything around me went white again, and I was back in the park. I was standing with my husband. We had two children but they were grown now, they were adults. They were standing next to us but other than that, there was no one else there.<br><br>“You have two grown children, you are happy, your husband loves you. Why do you still look so sad?” he asked.<br><br>“I’ve seen so many horrible things, I have seen so many people dying horribly. I just wish that I didn’t have to see it again. Just this once, I want to be able to enjoy a moment without the horrors of my life following me,” I said, but I was crying.<br><br>“I want that for us too,” he said, and he took my hand in his.<br><br>“What did I do to deserve you?” I asked.<br><br>“You didn’t deserve anything. Love just happens, so let’s just let it happen,” he said.<br><br>“I love you,” I said.<br><br>“I love you too,” he said back.<br><br>Again, everything around me went white and I was back in the forest. My sister was standing there.<br><br>“How did you do it? How did you make it look like I was reliving my memories?” I asked.<br><br>“You don’t remember the countless times that we tried to help you, the countless times that we made you forget your past. It’s not the first time that we have tried to let you forget. We were trying to protect you from seeing everything that you had lived through Eira,” my sister said.<br><br>“Protection is a gift Eira, one that you have refused to use. Now if you’ll excuse us, we have somewhere that we need to be,” she said, turned, and walked away.<br><br>I watched them both walk off, and I didn’t bother to call after them.<br><br>&#x200B;<br><br>Edit: I forgot to include the warning so the moderators can approve it.<br><br>&#x200B;<br><br>Warning. Graphic inner dialog that includes memories of abuse and child death.