You are the wife of a super hero as well as his girlfriend. Usually it's all fun and games until now.

Picture this! It's a beautiful Saturday morning and you are out doing some personal errands while your husband is out saving the world from alien invasions, nuclear attacks, and asteroid impacts. You know, the usual weekend stuff. You drive up to the dry cleaner and step inside to drop off all the super suits that your husband uses and then you get hit with the bombshell. The dry cleaner starts complaining about how hard it is to get all the blood and gore off his two super suits because he can sometimes die and then have to come back to life to finish the fight. Oh yeah, he comes back to life but just enough to destroy the aliens (or whatever) then his body disappears until he can go to the "Other Side" to get some R&R before coming back to the world of the living. It's a really long story but just go with it. The long and short of it is that he has two super suits. One for when he's alive and one for when he's dead. I don't want to know why his dead body needs a super suit any more than you do.<br><br>But here is the problem. His dead super suit is pink. Not a deep pink but a hot pink that would make the game show host on the Price is Right jealous. The alive version of the suit is just your run of the mill navy blue suit. You know, the type of suit that is worn by every other super hero in the world. But not the dead super hero version. That is most definitely pink. The dry cleaner went on and on about how they are just so confused because they will be doing all the navy blue suits for the other heroes and there is a pink one tossed in the mix. And the blood. He really goes on about the blood. Yeah you guessed it. In order to get the blood off the pink suits they need to use more bleach. And they don't like doing that because it weakens the fabric of the suit. And this is really bad because the weakened fabric is more prone to tears and so they are asked to repair those tears. And well, you can't just use just any super thread to patch a super suit so they have to call in the special super seamstresses who sew with just magic and 10K gold thread.<br><br>Ok so now you know why the dry cleaners are just so confused by all the pink and navy blue super suits that you drop off. But that is not the real reason that I bring this to you today. I bring it up because of the bombshell that was dropped on me while I was at the dry cleaners. The dry cleaners, while complaining about pink and navy, showed me the pink and navy super suits that they were currently working on and I noticed all the blood on the pink super suit. I made the comment that I hope my husband wasn't too beat up after his last death and the dry cleaners said, "Oh, he wasn't dead the last time he wore this suit." And I said, "Well, why is it covered in blood?" And they said, "We have no idea. I think he and his girlfriend got a little too rough with each other." Then they showed me the long red fingernail marks down the front of the super suit and a small blood smear across one of the shoulders of the suit. I of course thought of all the excuses I could make up for my husbands behavior. Maybe he did die and just didn't want me to know. Maybe he was attacked by a vampire. Maybe he was stabbed by a red clawed lady Wolverine. But then I saw it. A415 written in red across the inside of the collar of the pink super suit.<br><br>When I first met my husband he was a student and I was a teacher at the university that he was attending. And of course we fell in love and he left school and proposed to me in the most romantic way. He hired a sky writing airplane to sky write "Will you marry me?" across the sky with a big heart around it and an arrow pointing to a small box with a diamond engagement ring in it. And of course I said yes. I just couldn't resist such a romantic gesture.<br><br>But now, here I am at the dry cleaners stepping back from all the super suits and fainting. The dry cleaners called 911 and I woke up in the ambulance. They were very nice and told me all about what had happened. They said that my husband showed up at the dry cleaners, got the super suits and said that he was going to take me to the hospital. Now, if I didn't already know that my husband was also dating another woman, I would have thought that he was just being a loving husband. But now I know different. The ambulance driver offered to take me home and so I took him up on his offer. Once I got home I was just going crazy with all the thoughts about my husband and his other woman and what they did together in his pink super suit and if she liked the navy super suit better than the pink super suit and a whole bunch of other questions. So I called up my best friend and she came over and we are currently sitting on the couch eating cookies and binging the Marvel movies. We are on the 3rd Thor movie and our minds keep wandering to what it would be like to have a super hero cheat on us and what kind of super suit he would wear while he was cheating. That's when the doorbell rang. It's my husband.<br><br>So here is the problem. We have no idea what to say to him when he comes in the door. So the entire internet please help us with ideas about what to say to him. We are already eating all of his cookies and drinking all of his beer.<br><br>[PS] - I am going to love the comments on this one.