I hurt myself (Trigger Warning)

I hurt myself yesterday and I'm filled with regret. Thank God for my bf who was always there for me to keep me safe and comfort me. I don't know what I'd do without him. I just want to be able to let go and move on from all the painful memories of my childhood. <br><br>I bought a beautiful doki doki Little Oingo Boingo yesterday and I was (and still am) so excited to unbox him and put him on my shelf. It's been something I've been looking forward to ever since I was a kid. I was going to unbox him but instead I kept postponing several times (because I was feeling unwell and suddenly very anxious) and then I was in so much pain I had to hold onto something. Then suddenly, I sliced my hand so deeply and I couldn't stop bleeding. My bf came to check on me and we rushed to the hospital together. I was bleeding so badly and I was so scared but he comforted me and gave me doki doki Boingo to distract me from the pain and the sight of the blood. <br><br>I'm safe now and I'm so grateful to have a bf who loves and supports me so much. He took off work today just to be with me and we're going to spend the day together (maybe watching anime and eating hot pot). I just want to share because it's something I've been going through for years and I want someone to hear my voice and know someone out there knows and understands. I hurt myself because I don't know how to cope with the pain and it's been something I've been dealing with for years. I've been in therapy and it was a roller coaster ride to say the least. And I have to see a few specialists to get the help I need. It's going to be a long journey but I know I will get through it. <br><br>I just wanted to share my story. Thank you for listening. Sending lots of love and hugs to you all and I hope you'll have a great day. Much love. <br><br>Edit: Thank you all for your kind words and support. I'm so touched and I feel so grateful to have such a supportive and caring community. Thank you. <br><br>Edit: Update - I'm doing much better now and I just had an appointment with a psychologist. She said she'd be my therapist and help me work through the trauma I've been experiencing. I'm feeling really positive about it and I'm so grateful to have this opportunity. Also, doki doki Boingo is doing alright. Haha.