How do you "get over" things?

I am in a support group for women who have been "abused by men" or something like that. I'm not sure if I belong but I'm trying it. I like it a lot but I keep getting told that I have to let go of the past and I don't get it. I'm quite self-aware and I know I am still struggling. I just need to see how others have managed it.<br><br>&#x200B;<br><br>I was sexually abused for years as a child. My mom knows but she doesn't want to talk about it. She never wanted to talk about it. I got help from a very kind therapist I had when I was 11 but after 2 years she moved away. My mom went away for a week and I spent that week with my offender. I was about 14 then. He raped me and got me pregnant. I miscarried a few days after but I got sepsis. I had to have an abortion, get my uterus scraped, and I got kicked out of school for missing classes "without a valid reason" (I didn't tell them I miscarried, I just said I had the flu). I'm still dealing with the consequences today.I still have a hard time with school because of all the days I had to miss. I had to retake 3 classes. Life was really hard at that time and I don't know how I didn't end up becoming a teen mom. I just wanted to die. My relationship with my mom is terrible and a few months ago I realized that I was the only one still holding on to it. I just feel like she should have protected me because she's my mom. A year ago I confronted her, she denied everything. I was so angry I wanted to kill her. I haven't spoken to her since and I don't think I ever will.<br><br>It's been 8 years since I miscarried and I'm still dealing with that trauma. I still have nightmares. I hate my uterus. I hate my body. I hate men. I hate everything, sometimes. But I've built an amazing life for myself. The past year I was much better, I was doing so good. And then I started having sex and it all came back. I felt so bad I deleted my dating app. I just don't trust men and I don't want to. I don't need men in my life. I'm happy alone.<br><br>&#x200B;<br><br>I recently started talking to a guy I had a crush on in high school. He was the only one that didn't shun me when I got kicked out of school. He's been really kind to me and he "believes me". He's the first guy I've been able to trust since my rape. I was so happy I felt like I was flying. I gave him my number and told him to call me and he did but then he just ghosted me the next day. I feel like I've been punched in the gut. I feel so betrayed and I thought I was going to throw up. It hurt even more that he was the only guy I had ever trusted. I feel so confused and angry. I don't know how to deal with this. I just want to go home and lay in bed for a week. Just thinking about him makes me feel sick.<br><br>&#x200B;<br><br>I feel like I'm still a victim because I am still so hurt by what happened and I hate that. I don't want to be a victim. I don't want to be hurt anymore. I just want to live a normal life. I know what I want to do. I just don't know how to start.