AITA for taking my son for his first ever dental checkup and keeping the dentist's recommendation from him?

I (48 F) am a widow. I have a son (14M). My husband died when my son was 8.<br><br>He has always been afraid of doctors and dentist. He wasn't too bad when he was younger. We have had a few minor incidents after checkups but nothing big. However now he is at the age where he is resentful of us taking him. Even basic GP checkups for him are very stressful and he fights us on them.<br><br>He has never had a problem with his teeth. No cavities ever, nothing. But he hasn't had a dentist checkup in 3 years. Due to his anxiety we had decided to tell him we were going based on the dentist's recommendation. They always leave it up to us. We will call to schedule an appointment and then a day or two before we'll tell him.<br><br>When he was 11 he kicked and screamed about going to the dentist, and then when he got there, he refused to open his mouth. We tried bribing him and eventually I had to physically hold his jaw open and the dentist could only do a partial checkup. It was a disaster, and ever since we've told him the day before.<br><br>This past appointment, he was upset. But he went. This was about 2 months ago.<br><br>Ever since, his jaw hurts him periodically. I have tried to get him to go back to the dentist but he refuses. He has also started chewing with only one side of his mouth. I got very worried he needed a follow up.<br><br>Against my better judgement, I called the dentist and scheduled an appointment for the same day but I didn't tell my son until we were in the car and on the way there. He was angry.<br><br>When we got there, the dentist immediately ordered an x-ray because he was concerned my son was grinding his teeth at night and had damaged his wisdom teeth. The x-rays showed one wisdom tooth was impacted. The dentist said it should be removed but my son was hysterical. He wouldn't stop crying. The dentist was patient but eventually said he can't do the extraction with my son in such a state. He gave us some options.<br><br>My son's wisdom teeth were coming in crooked. One was impacted and the other was growing in towards his teeth. The dentist could do a simple extraction for the impacted tooth that was coming in towards his teeth, but he'd need to do surgery for the impacted tooth. He said it was worth it because if he doesn't, the impacted tooth could fuse to the bone and never be able to come out, which would be a bigger problem.<br><br>He also recommended that my son wore a mouth guard at night.<br><br>I agreed with the dentist's assessment. I told my son we would come back in a few days to do it. He has spent the last two months in pain and with jaw lock and this could correct it. I thought he'd be happy to have the solution but he was furious that I had "tricked him" into going to the dentist.<br><br>He's still angry. So are his grandpa and some of his aunts. They say that I lied and this put him in a position where he had no control.