I feel like I’m going to have a nervous breakdown

I’m 22. I started a job as an SLPA (speech language pathology assistant) at a middle school. I was provided one day of training. I’m also, apparently, not allowed to talk to the SLP I work under, she won’t answer my emails, she doesn’t answer any of my phone calls, she has no time for me. <br><br>I really love the kids, but I have no idea what I’m doing. I’m just trying to not fuck anyone up. <br><br>I don’t know how to write progress reports. I’ve tried using old progress reports as a template. I’m going to fuck up the IEP’s, I just know it. I feel like I’m drowning. I don’t know what the hell to do during sessions. I’m just using games that require communication. <br><br>I know I’m fucking up. I’m going to ruin these kids. What the hell am I supposed to do? I don’t have anyone to turn to. I already feel like a failure. I’m super self conscious about it at school, everyone can probably tell I have no idea what I’m doing. What the hell did I get myself into. I feel like an elementary school teacher who’s never taught before except I have no one to help guide me. I’m on an island, alone. <br><br>Edit: IK I’m not the speech therapist. I’m just an assistant. But the therapist is sooo inaccessible. So rude. I’m so fucking lost. I don’t want to fuck up the kids. I know the therapists don’t tell the kids anything. I’m more accessible to the kids. I feel like I need to be able to answer questions they may have. I can’t tell them to go to the therapist. That’s a fucking dead end.