I've been a professor for 15 years... I'm always amazed at what silly mistakes students make.

Just for fun, I'll list a few of them. <br><br>1. Read the textbook. If you take nothing else away from this, read the textbook. I don't care if you listen to the lectures, or take notes, or go to tutoring. If you read the textbook, you will do well. I've been teaching for 15 years and the number one thing that leads to success. If you don't get anything else here, remember this: Read. The. Textbook. <br><br>2. If you come to office hours, be efficient. Yes, I'm happy to talk about your feelings, your goals, your current boyfriend/girlfriend, your career aspirations, your mom, your aunt, your dad, or your cat. However, I'm only happy to do this for 5 minutes. After that, I will politely start talking about the material. I'm not there to be your psychologist. If you want to talk about your feelings, I'll talk on anything you want for 5 minutes. After that, we're going to talk about your grades.<br><br>3. Always ask questions before you go to the Dean to complain about me. I get even the most ridiculous complaints escalated to the Dean. <br><br>Example, one student complained because I didn't answer their question. Turns out they asked me where their classroom was and I told them I didn't know. I get complaints from students who don't show up to class, and then accuse me of not allowing them to take their final. <br><br>4. If you're going to complain about me to the Dean, learn my name.<br><br>5. Don't let someone else read your work. If you have a tutor, have them read it... they won't plagiarize, or at least, they won't plagiarize much. If you have a friend read it, they will inevitably suggest changes that are not grammatical or spelling errors. Never let a friend read your work. Especially if it's a friend in the same class. I can tell when you and your friend have the same mistake in your paper. It's not a coincidence! You plagiarized (you stole your friend's paper) and your friend plagiarized (they stole yours). This means... you both lose credit for the assignment and will be reported to the Dean. (See #4)<br><br>6. If you plagiarize your entire paper... you fail the class. If I discover that you plagiarized your entire paper... the Dean will inform your parents. You'll lose financial aid, and probably get kicked out. Don't plagiarize! It's never worth it. <br><br>7. If you plagiarize... I will do everything in my power to catch you. I've turned down promotions so I can teach the same classes every year. I build tools to catch plagiarism. I've automated programs to show me how many total interactions I've had with every plagiarism case, so I can be sure I'm applying the rules fairly and consistently. If you plagiarize, I will find you. If you plagiarize, I will do everything in my power to help the Dean throw the book at you. <br><br>8. If you're going to plagiarize, make sure you match the paper with the right class. I've had a few instances where a student plagiarized a paper... for the wrong class. Your political science paper should not have the words "semen" and "vagina" in it. <br><br>9. Talk to your professor, don't talk to the Dean. Nothing pisses off a professor more than a Dean telling them a student complained about them. For the rest of the semester, I will be jerking it to the thought of failing a student. If you talk to me first, I'll probably listen to your complaint, apologize, and allow you to redo an assignment. If you go to the Dean, I will fight to the death of my career to make sure you don't get a single point. <br><br>10. If I offer extra credit, do it. I will not offer extra credit for silly nonsense like bringing me a peanut butter sandwich or a cookie, or my favorite, sending me nudes. Extra credit is always substantive. Do it.<br><br>11. If you have to miss class, email me. If you have to miss more than 1 week of class, talk to the Dean.<br><br>12. If you're going to change your major, don't wait until the last day of drop/add. If you want to transfer, don't wait until the last day of drop/add. I had a student avoid me for two weeks while they waited for their transfer to go through, only to find out that their transfer fell through. <br><br>13. If you go to my office hours, be on time. If you schedule office hours and don't show up, expect me to be pretty curt and condescending the next time you want to talk to me. I'm a very busy person. If you schedule time with me, be on time. I'm not there just to talk to you. I have 400 students a semester. If you want to talk to me, you need to do it on my schedule.<br><br>14. If you want a recommendation letter, give me information about yourself. I teach 400 students a semester. There's no way I will remember anything about you from memory. If you want a letter of recommendation, write it for me. Make sure it's accurate! I will not say you're good at something you're not, but I also won't lie and say you're good at something if I'm not sure. In those cases, I will tell the recipient that I'm not sure. <br><br>15. If you want to be a Teaching Assistant, be on time to class, go to office hours, show up to exams 10 minutes early. I'll choose someone who's not even a great student if they're reliable and on time.<br><br>Tenure is great.