I was an incel until I found success with women... but I still feel empty

I’ve been an incel for the last few years. I come to this community a lot, although I don’t post much.<br><br>For a while I thought I was ugly, and a loser, but when I was 21 I got my shit together. I started working out, eating well, and I grew my hair. I am really in shape now, and relatively tall. I came to believe working out and grooming helped me become sexually attractive. My progress was slow, so I wasn’t expecting to get a girlfriend anytime soon, but even my friends were surprised at how much I changed.<br><br>That was 2 years ago. I’ve been gaining confidence, and when I turned 23 I finally started hearing women say positive things about my looks. That was a shocker for me, since I used to consider myself ugly. Then, I had a relationship last year. I won’t go into too many details but to say it was a total shitshow. It didn’t last very long, and I felt like it was too intense from the beginning. <br><br>After that, I went 2 months lonely as fuck, no girl would touch me but I got my confidence back, and I’m seeing someone now. Her name is Emily and she’s 22. We met online through bumble, and she’s a lot different than me. She’s a Christian, whereas I’m an atheist. She’s very outgoing, whereas I’m introverted. But we do have a sexual attraction, and I gotta say she’s very hot. We have a lot of sex, which is something I’ve never experienced before. I’ve been only seeing her for a few weeks, but as of now she’s my first real girlfriend. <br><br>I won’t lie, at first I was feeling amazing, I felt like everything was finally okay for me. I was doing well at school, had friends, and a beautiful gf, but as of now I’m feeling empty again. I’m not sure what it is, maybe I was expecting too much from dating? I don’t know, but I don’t feel like a winner anymore like I used to when I was working to better myself.<br><br>I’ve been getting a lot of female attention ever since I got fit, but I still feel alone. I don’t know if I’m interested in dating anymore, but I feel like I’ve got no choice but to keep grinding, since being alone hurts so much.<br><br>Idk maybe I’m feeling brainrot right now and I’m just being negative, but I’m not sure if success with women is really cracks the code to happiness.