I've been here a while, and this is what I learned

I've been a member of WvP since December 2021, and I've been an active poster and mod for about 16 months. I've been reading the comments from the last 16 months, and I've been thinking about them a lot. This is a summary of what I've learned, in case it's helpful to anyone else. You can take this as a "manifesto" if you want to. \*shrugs\*<br><br>1. We're not going to win. At least, I don't believe we are. The patriarchy is just too deeply ingrained in our society. If you look at the way men are treated (with horrible punishments for committing crimes that up until the 70s, women would have been locked up in an insane asylum and sterilized for), the way women are treated, and how both sides always lose, it tells me that the patriarchy is serving someone, and that someone is not us. Women often get the worst of the patriarchy, of course. But men are, if anything, even more helpless because of it.<br><br>2. People are not just stupid, they're Machiavellian. When I joined WvP, I thought that most of the people who disagree with feminism are simply stupid. I've since learned that they're not stupid. They very often know exactly what they're doing, and they're doing it on purpose to get ahead, to make sure you're held back, to hurt you, and to keep you in your place.<br><br>3. Men don't actually like women. The way men speak about women (reduction to body parts, hypersexualization, saying women are "in charge" when they're not, etc) tells me that a lot of men do not consider us human. They see us as animals at best and objects at worst. I'm not saying that there aren't good men out there. But I'm saying that the majority of men are the kind of people who make comments like this.<br><br>4. There \*is\* a war on women, even if it's just a culture war. I used to think that there was no war on women, but just look at the comments from men ITT. They are openly calling for forced reproduction and mistreatment of women who disagree with them politically. There is a war on women, and it's being waged by conservatives and MAGA people.<br><br>5. Women cannot rely on men for support. I've seen many posts ITT about how men prey on lonely/single women, how they take advantage of us in all sorts of ways, and how they're generally not trustworthy. Women have to learn to be happy alone, even though I know it's hard. We cannot rely on men for support. They are not friends to us. They are, at best, frenemies who will take advantage of us whenever they can.<br><br>6. Dating is out of the question. I've read a whole host of horror stories ITT about dating. I've learned that men will happily manipulate women, cheat on them, abuse them, and even sadistically hurt them. I've learned that the majority of men are incapable of forming healthy relationships with women. If you still date men, that's your prerogative, but I won't be doing it.<br><br>7. Marriage is a trap. I've read countless stories about how men change after they get married, for the worse. I've read countless stories about how men cheat on their wives even when their wives are doing everything right, and about how their cheating causes marriages to end (and how women get the worst of that). We're seeing it happen with the divorce rates in Japan, and the falling marriage and birth rates around the world. Marriage is a trap, and I won't be falling for it unless I really have to.<br><br>8. Divorce is a trap too. I've learned that women even get the short end of the stick in divorce. They often lose their kids, they lose their money, they lose their friends, and they even lose their careers. Marriage is a no-win situation for any woman, as far as I'm concerned.<br><br>9. The only way for women to get ahead is to work for themselves. In a post I made a while back, I talked about how I'd like to go back to school and get a new degree. Well, I've decided I'm not doing that. I've decided that I'm going to spend the next few years saving up money and building a career that centers me and not my employer. If I'm lucky, I'll be able to have a career that doesn't tie me down to one spot, and that will let me travel wherever I want to go. If I can do that, I can maybe have a happy life. And this isn't just about me- what I've learned is that women will never get promoted if we work for other people, and that the only way we're going to get anywhere is if we work for ourselves and forge our own paths. (Edit: I'm not saying that it's impossible. I'm saying the odds of it happening are not good, and that we can't rely on it.)<br><br>10. Women will only get ahead if we help each other. I've learned that I'm not going to get ahead without the support of my fellow women. I do need some luck, but I mostly need a network of women who can help me out when things are tough. Women need to support each other, because men are not going to do it for us.<br><br>11. Men will always try to police women's bodies. I've learned that men will always try to police women's bodies. We can't win no matter what we do. If we're overweight, men will call us "tasty" and shame us. If we're underweight, men will call us "anorexic" and shame us. If we're athletic, men will call us "muscular" and shame us. And if we're curvy, men will call us "mid" and shame us. Men will also police our hair, our clothes, our makeup, etc. Men will always try to police women's bodies, and there's nothing we can do to get around it. So we might as well do whatever we want and ignore their opinions.<br><br>12. Capitalism is completely Machiavellian. When I joined WvP, I was a capitalist. But I'm not anymore. The more I learn about how capitalism works, the more I realize that it's Machiavellian, and that if you want to get ahead, you have to be a sociopath, a narcissist, or a Machiavellian. None of those things are good. Capitalism also allows men to prey on the vulnerable, which makes it even worse.<br><br>13. Men will never allow women to take shortcuts. I've learned that men don't want women to have a seat at the table. They want to keep us in our place, and they want us to work harder than them to get ahead. Men will never allow women to be lazy.<br><br>14. Marriage is about property, not love. I've learned that marriage is about property, not love. Men often treat their wives like property, because they see them (and their children) as assets. Marriage is about control, and it's about men using women to get ahead.<br><br>15. Men don't want women to be happy. I've learned that men do not want women to be happy. They want us to be miserable, and they want us to feel like we owe them. Men often make their wives miserable intentionally, by doing everything they can to hurt their wives' feelings. Men do not want women to be happy.<br><br>16. Men see children as their property. I've learned that men often see children as their property, and not as human beings with their own rights. I've learned that men often abuse their children, and that they often abuse their children's mother as well. I've learned that the patriarchy sees children as property, and that they see parents (and especially women) as nothing more than incubators. This is true for pets as well.<br><br>17. Men often have fetishes that are the result of the patriarchy. I've learned that many men have the fetishes of patriarchal societies. Some of the most common fetishes (tiny waists, big breasts, big butts, etc) are either harmful to women (corsets are a great example) or they commodify women's bodies. Both can be harmful.<br><br>18. The majority of women hate women. I've learned that the majority of women hate women. Most women see other women as competition, and they will often do anything to get ahead, even if it means hurting other women. This is very sad to me because women are the only people who can save women from the patriarchy.<br><br>19. The patriarchy has conditioned women to be mean to each other. I've learned that the patriarchy has conditioned women to be mean to each other. We have been conditioned to be backstabbing, gossipy, narcissistic, and cruel. None of those things are good, and they will always hurt women in the end.<br><br>20. Women cannot rely on religion. I've learned that women can't rely on religion to save us. In fact, religion is often a major source of patriarchal values.<br><br>And that's about it.<br><br>Edit: Gold? Thank you!