When the clock struck midnight, I discovered my girlfriend was a gnome in disguise, and she wasn’t alone.

My girlfriend of two years, Janet, and I were the first ones to wish each other a happy new year for 2024.<br><br>“How excited are you to see what the New Year brings,” said Janet. She was a petite woman with wild curly brown hair.<br><br>“How excited are you to see what the new year brings,” I responded. I wore black glasses.<br><br>“Very,” she said.<br><br>“Am I?” I asked.<br><br>“Yes,” she said.<br><br>“I thought that was your line?”<br><br>But when the clock struck midnight, a fairy shot towards us and poked Janet’s face. In an instant, Janet’s appearance completely changed. Her body shrunk into a ball, and her face elongated into a point, as if she had been smashed by a hammer. Her skin turned blue and green. She was now a gnome.<br><br>“Sorry,” said the fairy, “I must have been late. Is that okay?” she asked.<br><br>“Okay? Excuse me?” I said. I stared at the thing that was once my girlfriend.<br><br>“What’s going on?” I asked. “What did you do?” I reached out and caught the gnome that was once Janet because it had rolled away.<br><br>“Well, you see,” said the fairy. “Gnomes all have secret human disguises that we use for reconnaissance purposes.”<br><br>“Reconnaissance purposes? What am I?” I asked.<br><br>“A subject,” said the fairy. “You see, every once in a while, we pick a human subject and test our disguises on them.” She handed me a pamphlet.<br><br>---<br><br>**The Gnomonian Study of Humans**<br><br>Are you a gnome who is interested in partaking in human reconnaissance in the human world? Contact your local chapter of the Gnomonian Study of Humans. <br><br>Once a subject is chosen, the gnome must keep their disguise active for an amount of time decided by the Committee for the Gnomonian Study of Humans. All human subject gnomes are to attend bi-weekly meetings for the Gnomonian Study of Humans.<br><br>---<br><br>“What committee?” I asked.<br><br>“There’s a committee,” said the fairy. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I really am.”<br><br>I couldn’t say anything else. I picked up the gnome that was once Janet and stormed off. I got off the street and took the stairs down to the parking garage, where I had parked my car.<br><br>I placed the gnome in the passenger seat. I got in and locked the doors.<br><br>“Can you change back?” I asked. “For a moment?”<br><br>“I’m sorry,” said the gnome.<br><br>“Can you change back?”<br><br>“Yes, but not for long,” she said. The gnome closed its eyes, and its appearance returned to normal. It was Janet.<br><br>“I’m sorry,” said Janet. “I never meant to hurt you.”<br><br>“I never meant to hurt you either,” I said.<br><br>“But I’m not human,” said Janet. “I’m a gnome.”<br><br>“You’re my girlfriend,” I said. “And I love you.”<br><br>“I know,” said Janet. “I love you too.”<br><br>“I love you too.”<br><br>We both paused for a moment. Janet opened the door and got out of the car. She slammed the door behind her, and before I could get out, she was gone.