The suicide hotline is horseshit.

I'm talking about the US one. I don't know about other countries. I committed myself last year because I was suicidal, and still mentally ill. I am suicidal again. I tried killing myself a few weeks ago, and got sent to the hospital, and promptly put on a 72 hour hold at a psychward. The time I spent there was a complete waste of my time, and I was given nothing more than a list of phone numbers and reccomended to go see a therapist I have already been seeing for over a year. She is nice, but she does nothing for me. I go, I talk, I do my cbt worksheets. Does nothing for me. I dont know what else to do. Therapy is useless, the psychward is useless, every other method of seeking help other than the Suicide Prevention Line seems to be useless. I tried calling the Suicide Prevention Line, and it sounded like the person on the other end was reading from a bad script. This is my last option and it felt like a waste of time. I'm not even fucked up enough to be allowed into a fucking psychward. I am nothing but a waste of space to every single person in the medical field, or so it feels. I am beginning to feel like I will never get better. Like it's too late to change things. And I am alone. I am so fucking alone it hurts. And I have nobody left to turn to except a person reading from a badly worded script who sounds like they are on the clock at a fast food restaurant, talking to a customer who ordered food they dont have. ; Edit: Sorry for the panic. I am going to go touch grass and cool down for a while before I do anything spontaneous. The comments were touching, and I'm trying to read through as many as I can without bursting into tears. I'm going to go get some fresh air, and maybe go for a walk. If you're in a similar situation as me, please know you are not alone, and I am sorry if this post caused you any hurt. If you read this far, thank you. I am not ending my life tonight. Thank you.

The suicide hotline is horseshit.

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