Am I always going to be alone?

I’m a 32 year old man. I remember one time being a friend’s house, he was 6 years old, he had a lot of other friends over, a birthday party or something. I was sat playing a game with the two girls and this boy. The boy went to get something, and I said something like “I don’t have any friends”. I didn’t mean it in a sad way. I think I just didn’t like being with other people.<br><br>Since then, I’ve had a few friendships over the years but they’ve not lasted. The last one was at university. After that I had a few acquaintances at work, but even that didn’t last. I’m not sure why I can’t have friendships. I don’t like going out to social places like bars or clubs, but I don’t mind one to one with people. I’m not sure if there’s anything wrong with me, and why people don’t want to be friends with me.<br><br>I had a girlfriend from age 19-25. We got engaged and everything, I was so in love with her. But she broke up with me because I was too quiet. After that, I’ve had one night stands and flings, but nothing has lasted. I went on a dating website once, but it was a really scary experience for me.<br><br>I’m always alone. When I was a child I was alone. When I’m at home I’m alone. I sit alone at lunch at work. In the car I’m alone. I even go on holiday alone. I’m not scared of it, I’m OK with it, but I sometimes wonder if that’s how it will always be.<br><br>I don’t know what to do. I don’t think I’m a bad person. I’m very loyal and will stand up for people if they need me. I know I’m somewhat socially awkward, but I think most people are. I sometimes think that I don’t want to be friends with anyone. Like I’m not interested in being around other people that much. But deep down I really want someone to share my time with, someone I can rely on to help me if I’m down.