My ex is gay

I had an ex that we were together for 2 years. We had a lot of fun together. I was really in love with her; she is beautiful, funny, smart, and sexy. But I have the craziest parents, who are fatphobic and hated her. I know that might sound weird but it is not to me. I had cousins who were fat as fuck and my great aunt who is all thin/skinny was really cruel to them. My aunt would always call my cousins pigs, make fun of their wobbly ass parts, call them ugly b/c they were overweight. This shit fucked me up. B/c I never saw anything wrong with the people I loved no matter how big they got. I never believed they were ugly. My cousins would always win prizes in school for being the smartest. And this is what I told my parents when they were using fatphobic words towards my ex. That being overweight did not make someone ugly or stupid. They argued back by saying that being overweight was unhealthy and it is no life for them; they have to get surgery, they have to be on insulin, they have to take blood thinners, high blood pressure pills, they can’t walk, they have to lose weight. I really hate it. I really feel anger whenever I see this stuff. Whenever my mom’s side of the family would talk fatphobic shit about their kids. I would always leave or get angry and make my mom take me home. I never understood why they had to say those things. I only loved my cousins unconditionally. B/c they are good people. They are fun and nice people to be around. I loved hanging out with them. But my mom would always call me a “fat enabler” and that I was “giving my cousins a death sentence” by being nice to them. I fucking hate her. My dad told me to give my ex an ultimatum by losing weight or else he would cut me off. I know that shit sounds fucked up but my dad is very wealthy. And he would cut off any of his kids or grandkids if they were overweight. But I could never ask my ex to do that. B/c I loved her. I remember we went to the beach one time and she looked fucking amazing in her red bikini. And I felt like I hit the jackpot. I felt so lucky and happy. But I knew she could never meet my parents. My parents are very cruel to fat people. A lot of my extended family would never allow their kids to date fat people. They would see them as being lazy or ugly. That is why I never told my ex about my parents. I never told her about the money. I never told her anything. I knew if I did she would fucking leave me and never come back. And that is what happened. She left me and I don’t blame her. I never spoke to her again but I just want her to be happy. A lot of my family who were against her and wanted me to marry someone skinny really hate me. A lot of my uncles and aunts and cousins. I don’t talk or contact any of them. I’m not mad at them. They will never see me as one of their own again. I am just an outcast. I lost everything. The love of my life. My family. I could not talk my parents into accepting her. I had a fucking melt down at my parent’s home. I fucking screamed at them for hours. I fucking cursed at them. I was angry and hurt. Nobody ever listened to me. They saw my ex as being gross and lazy. They did not care if she was smart or funny. They did not care what she looked like. They just fucking hated her and saw her as being disgusting and ugly. I don’t know why it never made sense to them that my ex is not lazy. She works out all the time. But they don’t believe it. I told them to let her prove it but they never gave her that chance. I fucking hate my mom. She is very stupid and fucking ignorant. She would go on these long fucking rants calling my ex all kinds of names. She fucking made me cry. I fucking looked at her and I fucking hated her. She is so fucking stupid and ignorant. I fucking prayed for her to die. But I don’t want her to die. I just wish she was not so fucking ignorant. I really hate her. I really fucking hate her. I don’t hate my dad. He is a good man. He was always trying to make peace. He was always trying to talk my mom down. But he did not stand up for me. He did not stand up for my ex. He could never believe that he was in the wrong. He never thought he did anything wrong. But my mom is fucking stupid. She is ignorant. I fucking hate her. But I could never let my ex know what she said about her. I could never tell her. I could never tell her anything. I could never tell her about the money or what my mom said. I could never do it. I could never tell her anything about my parents at all. So I never did. I never did. One day my ex came to talk to me about something. I don’t fucking remember what it was about. But she could see something was wrong. She could tell there was something bothering me. I told her I was fine. I fucking lied to her. But she never believed me. She always looked out for me. She always cared about me. I fucking just wanted to fucking cry whenever she would do that. I fucking wanted to fucking hug her. I fucking wanted to fucking tell her I fucking love her. But I never did. I fucking looked at her and fucking wanted to fucking say it. But I fucking never did. She fucking knew I fucking loved her but I fucking never fucking said it. I fucking regret it. I fucking regret it more than anything. I fucking wish I fucking could go back in time and fucking say I fucking love her. But I fucking never did. I fucking wish I fucking could go back in time and fucking break up with her. But I fucking never fucking did. I fucking wish I fucking could fucking go back in time and fucking make my mom shut the fuck up. But I fucking never fucking did. I fucking never fucking did. I fucking hate myself. I fucking hate myself. I fucking hate myself. I should have fucking broken up with my ex. I should have fucking gone to therapy. I fucking regret fucking everything. I fucking regret fucking everything. I fucking regret fucking all of it. I fucking should have fucking left her alone. But I fucking never fucking did. I fucking never fucking did. I fucking hate my fucking life. I fucking hate my fucking parents. I fucking hate my fucking life. I fucking hate my fucking parents. I fucking hate my fucking life. I fucking hate everything. I fucking hate everyone. I fucking hate fucking everything. I fucking hate fucking everyone. I fucking hate fucking myself. I fucking fucking hate fucking myself. I fucking fucking fucking hate fucking myself. I fucking fucking fucking fucking hate fucking myself. I fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking hate fucking myself. I fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking hate fucking myself.