I have been a heroin addict for 10 years, this is what I've learned.

&#x200B;<br><br>I smoked weed all through high school and drank. I took a few ecstasy pills to the age of 18, but nothing else. I was about 8th grade the first time I heard an anecdotal story about heroin, I was amazed by the stories, how good it sounded. I had never had that kind of "high" feeling from weed or alcohol, I didn't want to die young so I didn't mess with xanax or anything else. <br><br>I was about 19 or 20 when I tried my first line. Heroin was super cheap in my town and it was easy to find. I was drawing unemployment and had some money in my pocket, so I figured why not. 20 years old, no responsibilities, and I had heard how good it was by then. The first time I snorted a 10 was great. I felt like I had found my drug of choice.<br><br>The first time was great, the second wasn't as good. I was told by my friend I was taking too much so I cut the baggie in half and did half. The half wasn't as good, so I did the other half and it was good again. I realized I had been told wrong, so I started taking the whole baggie. <br><br>I was hooked on heroin for 10 years. I had some bad runs, and some good runs. I had been clean for 4 years, but started using again this year. One of the worst things about heroin is, you have to take it to feel normal. It's extremely painful to withdraw from, so you feel like you have to keep taking it. If you take a break, it feels like you're being flayed alive for days. Your bones hurt, you can't sleep, your bowels are in agony, you can't eat, you can't breathe, and you're extremely depressed. <br><br>So I stopped taking it. I found a good job, I got a good girlfriend who loved me, and I quit. I started going to the gym, I was able to sleep at night. I was losing weight and feeling better. I was actually happy, I had money in my pocket and I was in control of my life.<br><br>But I relapsed. I found myself in a precarious situation this year, I got in deep with a dealer and I owed him some money, but he had already taken everything I owned. The only way I could pay him back was to do some jobs for him, and the only way to feel better for a few hours was to take some of the dope. <br><br>I still owe him money. I still have to do jobs for him, and I still have to shoot up with the money I make to feel better. I've been told I'll be a heroin addict for the rest of my life. I don't know if that's true, I don't know if I want to quit. I don't know if I can. I don't really know why I made this post, I just wanted to say how I got here. I guess this is just for me, but if you're an addict, don't give up.<br><br>&#x200B;<br><br>EDIT: I just want to say thank you to everyone who reached out to me, it means a lot. I did do some research and I called a clinic. I'm going to start my treatment on Monday. I won't lie I'm terrified, but I do want to quit and be clean. I'm sorry if my story upset anyone, it wasn't my intention. Thank you again to everyone who reached out, you guys are awesome!