My (19F) ex bf (20M) called me stupid for cutting myself

Me and my ex broke up about a month ago after a year of being together. At the time, I had a lot of anger and resentment towards him. I’m still healing and trying to move on. He always made me feel bad. We were in a long distance relationship for most of the time due to work and living in different places. I would always get jealous but he would reassure me and would also get jealous. The last time he was mad at me for a dumb lie I said, he told me I was stupid and that I’m not getting any sympathy from him. He said I can do whatever I want to myself, like cut myself, and that he wouldn’t care.<br><br>I did have body dysmorphia and depression. I’ve been better but still take medication. I’ve been wanting to text him again and if people were not telling me to leave him, I probably would’ve. I know he’s toxic because he made me feel like crap and he wasn’t supportive. I’m just trying to heal and focus on me. I miss him a lot but I know I need to be strong and move on.<br><br>I was doing better and people were saying nice things to me. I had a lot going on and I didn’t know how to feel. I talked to my mom and she said he’s not good for me. I don’t want to go back to him but it’s hard to let go. I know I need to be strong and focus on me. I just feel so lost and empty right now because I’ve been trying to move on and heal. Otherwise he’s not good for me and I’m going to be better without him.<br><br>TL;DR: my ex said he wouldn’t care if I self harmed and that I’m stupid. Am I stupid for still loving him?