The Kindest, Most Selfless Woman I Know Spent Her Whole Life Making Other People Happy, and in the End She Was Discarded Like a Used Sanitary Product

This is a post I made on r/womenstudies. I thought I'd share it with you guys. Purchased a gold star for you since this is off-subreddit.<br><br>This is a story about my wonderful mother.<br><br>This is her story, my story, a story many women are familiar with. But this is a story you won’t find in a Disney movie or a Hallmark card.<br><br>My mother grew up in a society that didn’t send girls to college, so she became a teacher at 17. She met my father at 15, and married him at 19 when he was 21. She was a devoted wife, often cooking him food even though she was hungry herself, and making sure he was content with the marriage.<br><br>When I was born, her life became harder. She had to work in the daytime, and then come home and do more work. She was so tired and stressed, but still made sure to be the perfect wife and mother. And she was. She’s the sweetest, kindest, most beautiful woman I know.<br><br>She’s my role model. She works hard, for her family. I was so proud of her, and she was so proud of me. By the time I was old enough to realize what she was doing for me, it was too late. I couldn’t get a scholarship, and my father didn’t want me to work so I could focus on my studies. So I did. Thanks to her, I could focus on my studies, and get the highest marks in my class.<br><br>She’s 50 now, and she’s spent her whole life working for other people, smiling and suffering, in silence. My dad got a job with a good salary five years ago, and I thought that finally, she could take a break. But by that time my grandparents were sick, so my mother spent five years taking care of them. I helped her when I could.<br><br>Now they’re dead, and she’s alone. She’s finally free to work on herself, go on a trip, eat a whole pizza by herself, whatever she wants. But my dad and I never let her. My dad doesn’t want to travel because he’s a homebody, so she doesn’t. My dad doesn’t like to eat certain foods, so she doesn’t. She cooks and does housework for two able-bodied people who wouldn’t lift a finger to help her even if the house caught fire.<br><br>Today I saw tears in her eyes as she smiled and hugged me and wished me a happy life. A life away from her and my father. Today is my wedding, and I’m marrying a man I don’t even love. I’m marrying him because she wants me to be happy, and she thinks he’ll do that. I don’t know why, since he’s abusive, but mothers can be stupid like that. Even though I knew I would be miserable with him, I said yes, because I didn’t want to disappoint her.<br><br>I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life watching her suffer. She’s a wonderful mother, and I don’t want to hurt her. She’ll die someday, probably before my father, and I don’t want to spend the rest of my life in guilt and regret. So I said yes, and now I’m going to spend the rest of my life making a man happy.<br><br>I know I’m not the only woman to do this. I know many women, including those in my family, sacrificed their dreams for their family. Even now, I know that I’m not making a mistake. I’m doing the right thing.<br><br>So many women do the right thing, and are discarded like used sanitary products. My mother worked her whole live to make sure I was happy, and now she’s all alone. She’s got no one, and will probably die alone, surrounded by photographs of people she made happy.<br><br>I know I’m not the only woman to do this. I know many women have sacrificed so much for people they love, only to be discarded. No one is going to give you flowers and chocolates for being a good mother and wife. No one is going to give you a card for being a good daughter, sister, and friend.<br><br>Your reward is the love in your heart, the food on your table, and the roof over your head. And even that you might not get.<br><br>That’s why I made this post. Because the value of a woman is not measured in money or power or status. Her value is measured in her sacrifices and her suffering.<br><br>And it’s time we stopped seeing that as a good thing.