How do you change your habits without burning out from trying to change too many at once? (And how do you ensure you are actually changing your habits instead of just changing your routine?)

I’ve read many productivity books and I know that the best way to change your habits is to do it slowly, one or two at a time. I know that the routine based alternative fails because it relies on willpower and willpower is a limited resource. I know that real habit changing is about changing the underlying reasons why you do things. I know that you have to do it by altering how you see yourself. I know that it is about learning to recognize the cue and skipping the routine part of the loop in favor of a new routine. I know that you can’t just make a list of all your bad habits and fix them overnight. I know that you have to slowly change your routines and then try to build an identity around them. I know that you have to try different things and see what works for you. I know that you have to have realistic expectations and not expect to change all your habits at once. I know that you have to be careful not to get sucked into the routine trap of choosing the path of least resistance. I know that you have to avoid the built in trap of thinking about your behavior instead of your identity.<br><br>My problem is that I don't know how to do any of this. All I know is that I want to change my habits. I want to be fitter. I want to be more productive. I want to be smarter. I want to learn more things. I want to be happier. I want to be more confident. I want to be more outgoing. I want to be more charismatic. I want to be more social. I want to be more of the life of the party. I want to be a better public speaker. I want to be a better storyteller. I want to be a better cook. I want to be a better listener. I want to be a better friend. I want to be more self sufficient. I want to be more financially stable. I want to be healthier. I want to eat better. I want to drink more water. I want to be more mindful. I want to be more present. I want to be more in control of my emotions. I want to be more in control of my mind. I want to be more motivated. I want to be more self disciplined. I want to be more self confident. I want to be more self aware. I want to be more outgoing. I want to be more laid back. I want to be more chill. I want to be more relaxed. I want to be more fulfilled. I want to be more satisfied. I want to be more happy. I want to be more whole. <br><br>But I don’t know how to change my habits. I don’t know how to do any of this shit. I spend hours reading self help books and productivity books and watching lectures and Ted Talks and I still don’t know how to change any of my habits. I feel like my whole life is falling apart because I am so lazy. I feel like a failure. I feel like a piece of shit. I want to change my habits, but I still don’t know how to do any of this.<br><br>So what is the actual damage of trying to change a lot of habits at once? What do you think is the highest amount of habits you could realistically change at once? What are the biggest habits that you have changed? How did you go about it? How did you determine which habits you were going to try and change? How did you know you were changing your habits and not just your routine? If you had unlimited willpower, do you think it would be possible to change all of your habits at once? How long do you think it would take to realize you were burning out and needed to slow down?